More Than Fine. (Complete)

20- She Wasn't Norman Rockwell

     Brian followed her to the seat and pulled her from her reverie. "My parents were sorry they didn't get a chance to meet you at Thanksgiving."

     Gia cringed at the topic she'd been working to avoid, and hoped that Nick hadn't made it worse by mentioning Evan. Trying to steer the question away to safer waters, she commented, "You only mentioned one Thanksgiving meal, but I thought your parents were divorced."

     "They are, but thankfully they get along fairly well now. Much better than they did at the end of their marriage."

     "Oh, that's good for you." Gia thought for a moment. "How old were you when they divorced?"

     "I was sixteen, but the problems started when I was fourteen, I had just started high school, and my brother had just left for college." He frowned.

     "I'm sure that was hard. I remember you saying how highly you thought of marriage." Gia's mind drifted back to that lunch with Nick when she first met Brian, and Brian had commented on Nick's difficulties with serious relationships. "I've known some people who've had the opposite response to their parents divorce. That's great that you've moved past that."

     He looked out at the skaters, then his eyes seemed to move beyond them, to,some unseen vision. "I remember the good days, before things went wrong with my parent's marriage," Brian grabbed her hand and caressed it, shifting his eyes to her, "and maybe that helps with my outlook. I know how good marriage can be. At some point my parents got so caught up in their own pursuits that they lost sight of each other. Once things started deteriorating, they just seemed to give up and stop trying. That's when it went from bad to worse. Marriage takes work, and when I get married, I want it to last." He squeezed Gia's hand, causing her to tense and fiddle with her scarf.

     That was not the turn she thought the conversation would take. His commitment to marriage was endearing, but it also scared her. Did he see her as marriage material? She felt like she still had so much to work through to get to that point. Her eyes moved to his, and she saw such tenderness and caring. He would be the perfect man to marry, what every woman hopes for: handsome, caring, hard worker, financially stable, smart. Something was holding her back, yet all reason said keep moving forward.

     She realized he was staring at her, expecting a response. Only she had no idea what to say, so she changed the subject. It was becoming an art form around him. "You mentioned an older brother. What does he do?"

     He shook his head. "My turn. What about your family? Parents, siblings?"

     Gia had been avoiding this topic, even before they started dating. It wasn't something she liked to talk about. It brought back too many painful memories, and got too close to the things she tried to hide away. She always felt like she was traversing a mine field when trying to decide which things she could reveal without getting too close to the most destructive, painful things. Nick was the only person, outside of her small circle, who she had been comfortable sharing personal things with. So much so, that she'd nearly told him everything. With the way things turned out, perhaps it was best she didn't, though she could tell he had an inkling.

     "My parents died in a car accident when I was twelve." Wait for it.

     "I had no idea. I'm so sorry. That must have been so hard." Brian tried to pull her into a hug, but she leaned away.

     And there it was. Now he felt sorry for her. She really didn't like being known as "that girl whose parents died." What more would he want to know? What more was she willing to share?

     "Twelve. That's so young. Who did you live with after?"

     Looking away, Gia swallowed the lump forming in her throat. "My grandfather."

     Brian seemed relieved. "I'm glad you have family. For a minute there I thought maybe you'd been in the foster system, and that's why you were helping with the Forever Friends program."

     Gia felt a rush of emotions and frowned. Tears threatened to escape , but she refused to let him see them and kept her head turned away. Just because she had family, didn't mean she had it easy, but thankfully in the end things turned out okay. "Being a young child and not having parents to care for you is hard. That's part of what makes the program resonate with me. I know how important it was for me when my grandfather came along. It gave me someone I could count on and who showed me unconditional love."

     "Thank you for sharing." Brian massaged her back.

     She stiffened, then leaned into his hands and closed her eyes. Brian was a good man. Why was it so hard to open up to him? Gia turned her head towards him. "You ready to check out some holiday window decor?"

     In response, Brian stood and held out a hand. Gia stared at it for a beat, willing herself to grab it and smile. She'd held his hand before, even danced with him at the gala, yet each time he touched her she went through the same fear response. Surely she knew him well enough to move past that. Finally her hand propelled forward, but the mental gymnastics it took to get it there was exhausting.

     As they joined the throng of people on the sidewalk, he released her hand and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Again, tension, deep breathing, and finally acceptance. She had told him after their first date, that things needed to move slowly because of a bad experience in the past. He seemed to understand without pushing for more, and she was especially thankful that he hadn't tried to kiss her yet. An image of Robert flashed through her mind and she tensed. She hoped to avoid a repeat of that.

     Stopping in front of one of the Saks Fifth Avenue windows, Gia's eyes were drawn from the window to the happy family next to them. A toddler in a stroller pushed by a man with a woman on his arm, and a little girl holding her hand. Such a happy picture. Suddenly a flash of a time long past overwhelmed Gia. It was like she was transported to a childhood Christmas with her parents while they were out shopping. She could almost smell her mom's perfume, and longed to reach out and touch her dad's hair that was the same shade of blond as hers. When Brian squeezed her shoulder, she was pulled back to the present. Gia sucked in a breath.

     "Sorry, did I startle you?"

     Gia shook her head, not wanting to expose the memories that she held so dear. They continued their stroll, stopping periodically to look more closely at the displays.

     "Just so you know, Monday night you're all mine." Brian smiled down at Gia.

     She looked up at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

     "Monday is our one month anniversary."

     Had it really been that long? Finally, she smiled back, hopeful that maybe making it to that milestone would move her closer to a normal relationship. It's what she needed and it would surely be worth all the work.

~~~

A/N: Are you familiar with Norman Rockwell? If not, check him out. He was an American painter and illustrator who did illustrations for the Saturday Evening Post for 47 years, and produced most of his notable work between the mid 1920's to the mid 1970's. He was known for capturing everyday American culture through his work.

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