A Court of Nightmares and Rejects

Chapter ten

One moment I was pouring out my soul to Az.

And the next he was kissing me.

His mouth was light and butter soft against my own, his scarred hands driving into the back of my neck, weaving their way into my hair. I gripped tightly onto his shirt as Azriel deepened the kiss, tilting his head down to mine. I wound my arms around his shoulders, head spinning, face most likely burning pink.

Azriel pulled away first, quietly panting for air. His hazel eyes glowing with something I couldn't place. I blinked, slowly taking it in, My mate kissed me. Most likely out of sympathy, knowing me, everyone just wants to toy with my emotions these days.

"Boo, why are you staring at me?" Azriel chuckled, eyes flickering across my face, I bit my lip, "Sorry." I mumbled, Az smirked, "Who knew you were so keen for something that isn't spying or training?" My face burned, and it was an attempt to not put my hands on my cheeks to cool them. "You blush a lot." Azriel commented.

"I can't control it!" I shot back, it was like my face was made solely of flames, because it wasn't getting any better. Azriel just grinned, "I never said it was a bad thing, Boo." Who knew? The Shadowsinger isn't as quiet as I thought.

"Boo, look up, please." I obeyed, biting back another retort as his handsome face left me speechless. "You're going to eat, you're going to stop harming yourself, and you're going to let me tend to your cuts." 

I just nodded, no words coming to mind. "First, I'll get you food, and you're eating." Azriel said, but made no action to move. "I should probably get changed soon." I murmured back, but neither of us shifted a muscle. "How am I going to be sure you don't cut yourself?" Azriel asked me, cocking his head to the side, anguish shone on his face. "I... you have to trust me?" I guessed, he chuckled, the sound music to my ears. 

"I suppose, but you cannot in no circumstances, harm yourself, you hear me?" I nodded wordlessly, but Az frowned, "Let's make a binding promise, because that isn't even enough reassurance for me."

"Really? Ouch, the Shadowsinger doesn't trust his little accomplice." I purred, making Az chuckle. "It's for reassurance, Cia, I just... please." He replied, black curls on his head looking so soft, I just wanted to run my hands through.

"Fine." I replied, "Azriel, as a bargain, I will stop harming myself in any way," That you know of, "And in return, you will do something as well, or if I do not live up to these standards you will...?" I slowed, waiting for his answer, Az rolled his eyes, and continued the bargain, "If you break the promise, you're never allowed to be a Spymaster again-" I felt something zap through my fingertip and I yelped, whorls of black lines smothered my finger, swirling into what could only be a shadow. Azriel held out his hand, admiring the tattoo.

Then he turned to me, "What?" He asked, seeing the look I was giving him.
"Azzy! That basically means if I drop to the ground and pretend to be hurt, but actually hurting myself, and I couldn't be your Spymaster." Azriel chuckled, seeming unbothered by the fact I was still sitting in his lap. "You can be your own Spymaster, but it would be very boring without me."

"Arrogant Illyrian males." I grumbled, "Always thinking the world revolves around them-"

"The world doesn't, obviously, but we revolve around people, and that includes your boring ass, Boo." Az said, poking my shoulder. On very rare occasions did the Shadowsinger curse, I smiled lazily, "Oh? And what makes you say that, Az?"

"I'm just so... " Azriel stopped, making a show of stroking his chin and thinking.
"Irresistible?" I guessed.

"Well, you have a strong opinion about me, Ciana." I rolled my eyes, not knowing how to react. He seemed glad with my flustered state. 

"Now, you get changed, I'm getting you some..." Azriel looked outside, I didn't bother to follow his gaze, "Shit, we've missed dinner. I'll get you-"

"Us, you'll get us dinner, because you need to eat too." I interjected. Azriel sighed, a dopey grin on his sun-kissed face. "When I get back, I'll have ointment and tonic, too." I felt my body tremble, I didn't like the thought of showing someone my scars. "Calm down." Azriel ground out, and I realised I'd moved, again with his... underneath us.

"Sorry." I mumbled, sliding off him, I bounced off of the mattress and towards my dresser, pulling out the silk nightgown I wore. When I turned towards the room again, the Shadowsinger was gone. I drifted into my bathing room, pulling apart my braid and raking my fingers through the waves, getting out the tangles knots. I brushed my teeth thoroughly, and peeled off my leathers, and pulling on the nightgown, it clung to me like a glove.

I got annoyed as my hair got in the way of my nightly routine- seeing it went all the way to my waist. I grabbed the small leather strap I'd just tugged out of my hair and pulled the strands all into a neat knot on top of my head. There.

Cautiously, I made my way back to the centre of my room. Then strode over to the large window, playing around with the latches before opening it a crack, letting harmless, balmy wind enter the room.

My shadows hugged me as I watched the twilight sky, the cradling stars, in the moon's invisible hands, I'd always imagined the moon being a beautiful fae, weeping over her beloved sun, never able to interact, and the stars being her tears. 

"You're so interesting to look at when you look at the night, Cia." I turned to see Az, holding two plates in his misted-shadow hands, little chunks of meat and a ladle of peas. "It's like you're connected to them."

I smiled, "I like the sound of that." I replied, watching the quiet Illyrian smile, watching him place the food on the study desk before coming to stand beside me. "If I were the moon, I definitely would have picked the best court to mainly shine in." I added. And you'd be the sun, Azriel, the clouds your pillars of shadows, the sunlight is your happiness driving out the pain.

And I'd be forever crying.

"You are as beautiful as the moon, Boo." Azriel commented, making me feel warm inside. My mate held onto my hand and together we turned, eating whatever was left on the plates.