Miscarriage

Chapter 23

Eren pov

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I woke up on the couch with a blanket on me and could feel my torso wrapped up in bandages. I felt afraid to move but heard Levi talking with those two other people I met in the kitchen. They were talking about something or someone called Titan and how they were gonna pick them up. I slowly sat up and looked around and saw a mark on my arm. I needed to ask if they had injected me with drugs so I got up and made my way toward them. I didn't want to interrupt and be rude or make them change their mind on the no punishments rule.

After a minute Levi addressed me, "Hey Eren. You can come sit down, love."

I sat down and cuddled into Levi's side since he made me feel more comfortable. I glared at Hanji who looked a little shocked at my stare.

"Eren, Honey? What's wrong?"

I turned my face to Levi's side and mumbled, "What is this?"

I pointed to my arm where there was the mark. He looked down at my arm and kissed my forehead before telling me,

"Don't worry Eren, we just needed to give you fluids through an IV in your arm, we didn't do anything else."

I was glad to know that I wasn't given anything bad, but there was one thing I wanted and I wasn't getting it since my collar was off. It confused me since that collar was only removed when I was bad, and I would end up feeling sick until I was a good boy and my collar was put back on. I could tell that the sick feeling was starting because I felt shaky and a little nauseous. Levi must have noticed because he was looking at me a little worried.

"Eren, are you okay? What's wrong?"

I was a little hesitant to answer but i had to know,

"Sir, was I bad?"

Levi looked a little shocked at my response and pulled me into a hug,

"What? No, Eren you're perfect, you haven't done anything wrong. Why do you ask?"

I was surprised to hear him say that. Know i wouldn't know how to improve my behavior to get the collar back.

"Sir, you took my collar away. I promise i'll be good, i'll do anything you ask of me, Please. Can I have it back now? I don't feel good."

Hanji looked a little sad and quietly told Levi, when he looked at her confused,

"Remember Levi, I told you about the substance in the collar that was injected in them. Eren is going through withdrawals. He's gonna be shaky and nervous and sick for a while, but I have some meds I brought to help with any nausea or headaches. They might make him tired, but that's good so he can sleep through some of the pain. Also I'm about to go pick up Titan so maybe he'll be a good distraction. Erwin just got a text that we could actually pick him up today if we want. I'll be back in a little bit."

Hanji and Erwin got up and left while i waited for Levi to answer me

"tch" Levi replied before standing up and bringing me to the couch where he sat down with me laying on his lap while he ran his hands through my hair. It made me feel calmer than before until I heard his response.

"Eren, honey. Your collar was injecting you with drugs to make you feel good, but also forget the past. You'll regain your memories as the drug leaves your system, but I can't put your collar back on because it isn't good for you. You're gonna feel sick for a little bit but me and Hanji will help you, okay?"

I sat up and started to panic. No collar means no pleasure, and no pleasure means death. That is what I was told whenever it was taken away or put back on me. I was going to die and I didn't want to. I got on the floor on my knees in front of Levi as tears welled in my eyes, i felt an itch in my neck and i started scratching it as i continued shaking and yelled at Levi,

"No!! Please Sir Please, I need my collar. No collar means no pleasure, and no pleasure means death, Right? That's what they told me, and i don't want to die, i promise i'll be good, i won't cry when you beat me i promise! I need it! Master said I was a good boy with the collar, I can't be good without it, I can't!! I don't know what you want from me but I'll do anything!! PLEASE!! I BEG OF YOU SIR!!! I wont even cry or say stop when we have sex i promise"

By this point Levi was on the ground with me and grabbed me into a tight hug while stopping me from scratching my neck.

"What the FUCK?! No Eren it's okay. You're letting out a lot of stress pheromones so calm down and stop scratching your neck, you're bleeding! You don't have to do any of that. Listen, the people who kidnapped you from me were sick people, okay. They lied to you about dying from not wearing your collar. You were being harmed by it, and the drugs it was giving you. You don't deserve to be beat, or raped, or any of the other sick things they did to you. You are your own person Eren, you don't have to call me or anyone else sir or master, or obey anyone's commands. So I need to calm down, okay? Just breathe with me. It'll be okay."

I sniffled into his shirt and let out a muffled,

"I don't wanna die."

I didn't think he heard me but he replied with,

"You're not gonna die Eren. I'm not gonna let you. We need to put a band aid on your neck since you scratched it so hard, but we'll do that in a minute when you're ready."

I nodded and buried my face into his chest while I continued to let my tears soak his shirt. He didn't seem to mind and just continued to rub my back and hum a song that seemed kind of familiar.

"Eren?"

"*Sniff* yes, sir.. I mean Levi. sorry."

"It's okay honey. I do have to tell you though, Hanji went to pick up a dog named Titan. You know Titan, but just don't remember. He's your service dog. He helps you and alerts us if you're in danger. I think you'll like him. Still. He'll be there to cuddle you and distract you at any time. It might help to have him around since you'll be detoxing from the drug they gave you."

"Okay. I don't like not remembering the life I apparently had and I don't like this. I feel sick."

He kissed the top of my head and continued rubbing my back.

"I know baby, You'll remember soon enough. And when Hanji gets back we'll get you some medicine."

"Okay"

We sat like this for a while before the front door opened and i could hear Hanji tell Titan,

"go find Eren"

I could see a dog turn the corner with his tail wagging faster as he saw me and I noticed he was walking with a little bit of a limp. He approached Levi and I on the floor, but I felt a little scared for some reason and just held onto Levi a little tighter with my face still against his chest as I eyed this dog. Levi reached his hand toward the dog who laid down next to us and stared at me as if asking to be pet.

"It's alright" Levi said as he pet Titan on the head, "Titan is very nice."

I hesitated but slowly put my shaking hand out to pet him. He seemed sweet, but I couldn't help but feel like I remembered seeing him somewhere recently. I started crying again as a memory popped in my head,

"Titan was hurt, and I couldn't do anything. That's why he's limping, isn't it?"