.𝗟𝘂𝗰𝗶𝗱. 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚́𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙩

• sinking T/W

"sometimes i feel like I can't breathe
is that all you see in me?"

- 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙗𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙥𝙞𝙖𝙣

___________________________________

• ten months after potential •

𝙄𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙢

4 minutes ago

🤍💬➡️
Bowie.caspian
Hey everyone,

I've decided that i'm going to open up to you all to try and explain what's been happening and why my album is taking so long.

I've struggled with my mental health since i was super little and recently had a breakdown. I made a promise to you guys that my album would come from close to my heart and i'm not backing down just yet. That being said writing and compiling these songs have been somewhat triggering and also brought me some relief. It's been great to open up my secrets through song lyrics but they also led to me coming to realisation about myself in my life that i have to tackle before i would be comfortable to release them to the world.

I couldn't be more grateful and your patience and just ask for a little bit more time to finalise everything.

Thank you,
b.c

liked by conangray, nicotheduffer, kia.bailey, tchalamet and 9,038,712 others

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conangray ur so brave for revealing this
    bowie.caspian thank you ily
   
username you shouldn't feel like you owe us an explanation, we're just happy u exist
      username exactly
          username i love you bowie

tchalamet ur the best person in my life
      bowie.caspian xx
          username ughh timmy what abt ur gf

messenger
6:03 pm

lil timmy tim
do u wanna hang out
tn?!?

bow tie
hahahah
yeah for sure

lil timmy tim
i'm gonna come to urs and
take u out

bow tie
where r we going?

lil timmy tim
surprise

bow tie
i hate surprises

lil timmy tim
i know
but ur gonna enjoy this one

bow tie
u never disappoint

Bowie

i hadn't spoken to Timmy that much since last week when i called him for support. I felt pathetic and embarrassed that i needed him so much in that situation and that he probably saw me as broken and a charity case. I don't want him to look down on me and that's one of my deepest fears. After last week he probably only asked me to hang out of pity.

When Timmy came we walked down the streets of New York rugged up for the cold weather. We walked in silence majority of the time and it was comforting. I liked how we could do that. Not talk to each other but still appreciate the other. We walked up to the entrance of central park and i was confused. It was 7pm and cold and he wanted to go through central park?. He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the opening. He held my hand the whole time and i let his warmth run through my body like it had its own pulse.

"How have you been? I feel like we haven't talked in so long" i avoided looking at his face because i knew that once i caught a glimpse of his eyes i would breakdown again and he didn't deserve that.

"yeah good" i lied. He stopped us from walking and lifted my head to face him. He was giving me a look of sympathy and that made me hate him. He can't help me anymore it's not his responsibility. It's nobody's but my own and i needed to get over it. I was sinking and i was pulling him down with me but i should've just cut him free months ago. What have i done?

We walked around the park for the rest of the night and bought peanuts from the little stall and lived out our tourist fantasies. Over in the distance by the water i saw an abandoned shopping trolley and ran towards it. I threw my bag in and jumped in the cart. Timmy gripped the handle with his skinny fingers and pushed me around the park. I would scream at him to slow down when he got dangerously close to the edge of the path but we would both collapse in laughter.

Timmy eventually hopped into the trolley with me and our legs intertwined. I lent my head on his shoulder as we watched out at the water and the skyscrapers that consumed the sky.

I realised how much i needed him to help me and made a vow to become more dependent as it wasn't fair to drag him down with me.

sinking- written by bowie caspian