Situationship || Shawmila [Completed]

12. Envelope

«Mom, please, don't stress me out about this. You know I'm busy, I can't take time off to come an see you!». Camila was sitting in front of the window, staring at the brownish leaves laying on the ground while grey, cold rain poured from the sky. With her phone pressed on her ear, she was trying to convince her mother to leave her alone, she was too moody and heartbroken to keep up with her mother's silliness. After how things went down with Shawn, she just wanted to hide inside the house and pretend she didn't exist.

More than three weeks had passed since the "breakup" and Camila still looked miserable. She hadn't simply lost her... partner, but also her best friend. Throughout her life, she had never met someone like Shawn, a person who was able to always understand her no matter what. She was so bitter thinking that this virtue of his hadn't applied when she needed it the most.

She still had to talk to him. She had actually blocked him everywhere, too scared he would reach out and convince her to go back to him. Maybe part of her wished he'd do something like that, but she didn't give him a chance. When she moved out from his apartment – more like she run away – she had nowhere to go. Her old place was no longer available and the thought of begging one of her old friends to let her crush at their place was too mortifying. She feared her only option was to go back to her mom and listen to her idiotic, meaningless banter all day long, but suddenly she remembered there could be someone else to turn to and ask for help. Suitcase in hand, she walked through the city and eventually knocked on Tanisha's door. So now Shawn had no idea of where she was.

After ending the call with her mom, she stood up and started to get ready. She had an appointment she dreaded, but it was time she faced her problems. Dressing a little smart and covering her face with a light layer of make up to hide the effects of her sick soul, she left the house.

During that period, Shawn didn't know what to do with himself. He still went to work, and he still did everything he had to do to function, but when the night fell and he went to lay down, alone, on his bed, he inevitably felt drained and lifeless. He tried to reach for Camila, but apparently she didn't want to hear a word from him. He felt stupid and helpless, a gigantic idiot for the way he had treated her, and the only reason that could excuse him was the gripping fear he felt anytime he thought of declaring how much he loved her right in front of her face.

The days seemed void and meaningless, the world around him had lost its colors, and all his eyes could perceive was grey, not that the restless rain was helping him. Since Camila had left him, it seemed that even the heavens couldn't stop crying. He had the feeling he was falling in some sort of depression: the food was tasteless, the music was soundless, and the days were simply not worth living. The only time he felt some sort of emotions was when he bawled his eyes out while he regretted every move he had ever made.

And then the day that almost killed him arrived. When he saw the big envelope with the stamp of a law firm on its front he knew what was coming. With trembling hands, he opened it and after scanning the document rather quickly, he felt the last string that was keeping him together give in just like his heart had previously done. His first instinct was to curl up on the floor of his living room and cry until he would pass out, maybe after draining a bottle of two of the strongest liquor he kept in his kitchen cabinet. But something inside him snapped and gave him the push to finally try and make things right.

He spent at least three hours calling every mutual friend he had with Camila to try and find out her location. He even dared to call that witch of her mother, and finally, with some sugarcoated sentences and a lot of patience he managed to gather the information he was looking for.

With no coat nor an umbrella, he stepped outside under the rain and literally run to Tanisha's house. He thumped on her door like a mad man, until someone opened it. There she stood in front of him, Camila, with big, tired eyes and a baggy hoodie, one that had probably once belonged to him. Rain was pouring down on his face, and it was hard to keep his eyes open and clearly see her small frame. However, he stood right there, he raised his hand with which he was gripping the envelope, and he spoke with a raspy voice. «I won't sign a goddamn thing before you've heard me out, Camila». His voice was shaky, but his tone was very resolved. «I don't know why I acted like the dumbest asshole ever existed, like the worst coward one could ever imagine. I really don't know why. But if I had the chance to go back in time and tell you that I love you and that I wish you would spend the rest of your days with me, I'd do it right away. Because there's nothing else I desire, Mila. I don't regret our friendship. You gave me the best years of my life and I'm so thankful that you've been a part of it. But I do regret refusing to acknowledge my real feelings for you. 'Cause since the first moment my eyes laid on you, I felt I had finally found my home. I don't know what love is, but I'm pretty sure we're the closest thing I can come up with, and if you let me, I'll prove it to you every day I had left on this earth». He took one last big breath before admitting: «I don't want to live without you, because I can't imagine how I'll survive without the love of my life. Please, Mila, give us one last chance» he finally whispered.

Camila was shaking and crying and choking on her tears. She didn't know she had always wanted to hear him saying these exact words to her, but now that he had done it, she felt her heart exploding with joy. She was way too overwhelmed to say a word, and Shawn feared he had definitely lost her for good.

«If you really want me to leave you alone, I need to hear you say it» he murmured.

Camila reached out and wrest the envelope out of his hand, and finally ripped it in front of his eyes. The divorce papers were disintegrated and were now laying on the wet stairs of Tanisha's apartment. «I swear to god, Shawn, if you don't kiss me right here right now -»

His lips were on her in an instant, and the kiss felt like the first one all over again, but at the same time it had the power of the infinite kisses they had shared during their brief marriage. «I love yous» kept on falling out of their mouth in a sweet melody, a melody that they would have never got tired of.