"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
Aprielle Castellano was determined to commit suicide by jumping off the bridge, letting herself drown, and die with her lungs filled with water━well, not until this blue-haired gu...
“darating ang araw na kakalimutan din natin ang lahat tatawanan din natin ang lahat.”
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11 | the art of introspection
EVERY MILLISECOND possible of counting was spent in tranquility as I watched them gather around the edge of the cliff. I have never felt as peaceful as I do right now. It's been a while since I actually became . . . contented — happy, in fact.
Before, it seemed like my life was filled with solely colors in the grayscale — blacks, whites, grays, lighter ones, darker ones, yet still the same dull colors. Dead.
Colors, or art in general, have played important roles in our lives.
They keep us sane, they refrain us from being unfamiliar of the world, they balance us, they make us recognize who we are . . . because they represent our personalities.
The beauty of art and its own little life.
Charcoal smiled at me as I stared at him. He then brought his attention back to the waterfall when Rome jumped from the cliff.
Hindi pa rin naman ako nakakarating doon, sa punto kung saan tanggap ko na. Na tanggap ko na ako bilang ako. I have yet to master the art of acceptance. I'm still someone who's yet to be a renegade of the society that controls us like puppets, that makes us conform into their own narrow-minded standards.
Not yet, but I'm getting there — we're getting there.
Hindi naman ganoon kadaling ibahin ang buhay na kinagisnan mo simula nang mamulat ka sa realidad ng mundo. Pero hindi rin naman mahirap na simulan paunti-unti. Kahit paisa-isang hakbang lang.
And I hope this will serve as the beginning of that change.
“Aprielle! Tara na!”
Tipid akong ngumiti nang tawagin ako ni Kierra bago tumayo. Pinagpagan ko ang sarili at naglakad patungo sa kanila. My strides became slower at every step as my smile gradually faltered into a grim line. I was nearing the edge of the cliff.
The edge.
I instantly closed my eyes as flashbacks of that night passed through my eyes in a blinding speed. Napahilamos ako sa mukha at nagbuntonghininga.
There's still no escape.
Huminga muna ako nang malalim bago nagpatuloy, at nang makarating na ako, lahat sila'y tumalon na maliban sa kay Charcoal.
“Stay there.” I looked at his direction in confusion, yet he just raised his hand to do a stop sign. “Just please, stay there.”
Umiling ako. I just had an internal monologue about starting the change — an introspection of myself, and I'm not gonna turn my back again and run away from everything that hinders me from reaching my destination. Take one step slowly, and then another. There's no point of delaying what could have been done already.
