Fuck This Shit

Lazing On A Sunday Afternoon Continuing From Roger POV

I couldn't quite figure out why she pulled away so quickly.
But it kept me up that night.

I wasn't leading her on to anything I just needed to kiss her.
How couldn't I.
The way she looked at me it was as if she was asking me too.

I've never wanted to say I love you to someone more in my life then I do now.
Cause I do.
I love her.
But I can't say anything.
It would ruin what we have either way.

I couldnt sleep at all so I just layed there staring out of the window thinking about ways I could tell her I love her.

Then it hit me.
I already have been.
From the way I was playing with her hair, putting my arm around her, taking her to the beach, complimenting her to the way I purposely treated her like she was mine.
But I guess she kind of is mine already.
It's hard to have a really close friend that is a girl.
And I've made it worse by falling in love with her.

YOUR POV

You knew Roger wasn't asleep.
You could tell by the way he was laying so still.
You didn't say anything but you knew you've made him feel something.

You didn't pull away because you didn't enjoy the kiss or because you knew it would lead to sex.

You loved Roger and the kiss made you realise it.
But you didn't love him as a friend, you loved more than that.
And you wanted to be more than friends.
But you were scared it would ruin everything you have.

You became uncomfortable with these thoughts and turned to face Roger. He did the same just as you did.
And there you were left staring into each others again.

'Roger?'
'Yeah?'
'Can we leave?'
'Leave? And go where?'
'No. I want us to run away and never come back.'
Even you had no idea what you were saying.
'Why, love?'
'I hate it here. It's shit and your the only person I have and to get away from here with you and only you would be the best thing for me.'
'Y/n why?'
'Beacuse, Beacuse.'
You wanted to say it.
Again staring into his eyes, it only made you want to say it more.
But you didn't.
'That doesn't matter. We can start a new life alone like we've always wanted.'
He looked confused, excited and shocked at the same time.
'When are we leaving?'
You laughed.
'Woh, we need to keep it a secret. Don't tell anyone not a single soul. And we need to pack. Who's car are we taking?'
'Yours, mines broken.'
'Right ok.'

You drew silence between you.

'Y/n?'
'Yeah love.'
'About the kiss-' You cut him off.
'Roger please. Don't take it personal. We'll discuss it tomorrow.'
He nodded.

You turned your back to him.
'Can I put my arm on your waist again?' He said almost whispering.
'You don't need to ask, it's whatever makes you happy.'
You were glad he suggested on doing so.
He didn't say anything and placed his arm around you pulling you a bit closer to him.

You were so close to falling asleep which he must have thought you already were when you heard.
'I love you.'
You kept still and didn't know what to think.
But you soon fell asleep.