Fuck This Shit

Seaside Rendezvous Continuing From Rogers POV

TW - SMOKING AND DISCUSSION OF OATHS

We walked along the harbour for a good hour until we decided to go back home.
I liked the way Y/n held my arm, it was as if we were a couple.

On the cycle back, I couldn't help myself but glance at her every second.
The way her hair swayed in the breeze and how she smiled, sent shivers down my spine.
I'm not in love.
I know that.
Well I think so.

When we arrived at her place again it was dark out and her mum was home.
She asked where we had been all day forgetting we didn't tell her.
I called my parents telling them I'm staying again.
Their response was the same as usual 'You might as well live there!'

As we entered her room, she placed the stuffed animal and the pictures on her bed sitting next to them.
She looked a bit sad and so I sat next to her.
'What's wrong love?'
'I don't know. I just wish we had more moments like today.'
'Who said we couldn't?'
'I know but I feel as if somethings in the way.'
I began to blush a bit thinking about what she could possibly say next.
'Like what?'
'I don't know?'
She sounded aggiated and stood up to get into her pyjamas.
I did the same but on the other side of her room.

We sat down in the same positions as we did yesturday and I placed a record on.
She handed me a cigratte and a lighter and once I had lit it, I handed it back to her.

'I love this.' She said looking around her room.
'What?' I began to blush again.
'This! Us. Sat here with a cigarette whilst listening to reocrds in the middle of the night. It's perfect.'
I chuckled and smiled.

She then stood up and placed the stuffed animal on the shelf behind her.
Afterwards, she put some blue tack on the back of the pictures and put them on her wall.
She got me a copy to which was still in my pocket.

I love her attitide towards things.
It's like she doesn't care but then it's like she does care.
I can't explain it.
She just lives her life how she wants to and no matter what comes her way she just brushes it off her shoulder like a bug.
I find myself cringy for thinking that.

'There.' She said sitting back down.
I laugehd again not knowing what to say.

'I'd appreciate it if you would open up a bit about how you feel.' She said out of the blue.
'What do you mean?' I asked blushing again knowing that I might have made it obvious.
'Oh please. Roger I know you and your clearly hiding something.'
'Y/n, I'm not I wouldn't lie to you.'
Even to me that sounded unconvinving.
'Roger. Come one.' She gave me a look that informed me she knows something.
'I just. I jus- No I can't say.'
'But we tell each other everything. We might have to make an oath of it.'
'No way!'
'Why not?'
'I'm not cutting myself just for a promise.'
She looked at me as if she was upset by this yet she was chuckling a little.
I sigehd a heavy sigh causing her to tilt her hed whislt looking at me.
'I don't like to see you like this.'
'Like what?' I said laughing trying to cover it up.
She began to look serious now.
'Something is on your mind.'
I shook my head.
'Nope no there isn't. You paranoid. Now I'm tired lets go to bed.'

She didn't say anything for the rest of the night and we soon fell asleep next to each other.