Porcelain ♡ Frerard

Chapter 11

Sadly, the bookstore I wrote about doesn't exist, but St. Helens is indeed a very real place where they filmed part of Twilight and Halloweentown! And it's just a car ride away from Astoria, it was only right for me to choose this town. 

! Trigger warning for attempted sexual assault! 

— 

"The truth is hiding in your eyes and it's hanging on your tongue, just boiling in my blood. But you think that I can't see what kind of man that you are, if you're a man at all. Oh I will figure this one out on my own."

— 'Decode' by Paramore.

Sitting beside Gerard at their own lunch table they claimed for themselves days prior, Frank fidgeted with the torn off tab of his soda can, twirling it in small circles on the tabletop. He tuned out the sounds of the buzzing crowd around them, focusing on his own breathing, the sensation of coldness with flowers embroidered into it brushing against his side as it steadily emitted from Gerard who simply breathed as well. If he felt eyes resting heavy on him, he'd turn his head and his gaze was caught by Gerard's, a long moment where they held each other's stares until the world began to disintegrate around them so it was only the two of them diving into whatever they offered in silence. 

Each time Frank looked at Gerard, words welled up behind his tongue, but he couldn't find an appropriate way to phrase their utter insanity. Frank was well decided about his theory, finding it was as close to the truth as possible, but how could someone say those accusing words without sounding like they'd lost their mind? If it wasn't the truth, then Frank would be humiliated, most likely never wanting to seek out Gerard again to avoid how utterly mortified he'd feel even standing in his presence. 

Whatever fear Frank felt in the beginning, all of it ebbed away as he was taken from his terrifying imagination and faced with the person he truly believed wouldn't hurt him. After being rescued by his hands so many times, it was impossible not to feel safe near him, despite remaining a tad bit cautious— but that mostly rooted from Frank's fear of him fading away, an ephemeral thing never meant to linger for long. Beautiful things tended to disintegrate whenever they were placed in Frank's hands and he never knew why.

"May I ask you something I remembered the other day?" Gerard's velvet murmur was the furthest thing from an interruption in their long moment of intense quiet. 

Frank nodded instead of responding, knowing the sound of his voice in comparison to Gerard's would grate his ears when they only longed to listen to the melodics of Gerard's syllables piecing together. 

"When I told you what my favorite song was, you said it's very special to you. I never got the chance to ask you why." 

Frank learned not to be surprised over minuscule things when larger matters were present to gauge a deeper reaction from him. If his memory served him correct, he recalled mentioning something about the song being significant to him during the day where they catapulted questions back and forth for the first time— also the beginning of a blooming friendship as they slowly worked past their avoidance and prominent hostility. 

"First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes. Even the title brings me a really nostalgic feeling." Frank reminisced while collecting his memories to set up the story. He sat back in his chair, eyes settled on the table as his mind drifted. "It was the first song I ever really felt. I've always been able to feel things more than the typical person. I see colors in songs and stuff, but this one was different." 

"How so?" 

"It was a barrage of gold and some other shades I'm not even sure exist in reality. Something about it spoke to my heart, it gave me this feeling like it's always been a favorite song of mine tied to the best memories ever,  but I'd never heard it before in my life. It stuck with me since then. Literally all of my playlists have that song somewhere in them, I can't not have it there. I love the rest of the band's music, too."