Scared

Chapter 8

Julia was also screaming, standing as straight as she could to match the other woman's height.

"I don't want that child. But that doesn't mean I don't care about him."

At that, Mimi scoffed, "You gave him severe brain damage" but Julia ignored her comment, "I didn't leave him, I just gave him to someone who would have loved him more than me. And that someone is you, Mary" tears were streaming down her cheeks now, but Mimi found out that she couldn't feel not even a bit sorry for her younger sister.

She was angry.

She couldn't understand how a mother couldn't care about her child!

It was probably her mind telling her that. She had wished for a child for so long, yet she had to bury all of them before she was even able to hold them or even understand their gender, as small as they were.

Julia quickly left and it was now that Mimi could finally release her emotions.

She quickly walked upstairs, finding John sitting on the stairs, a sad confused expression on his chubby face.

He looked so small and delicate, like a slight push could send him in a million pieces.

Even his clothes were tagged 2 years old. They were small, you could tell they weren't clothes meant for kids as old as John and yet John perfectly fitted in them.

He was as small and delicate as a flower.

"Johnny!" she exclaimed, leaning down a little.
John started crying, grabbing onto her skirt, bawling his eyes out.

The woman gently picked him up, snuggling him close to her chest, suddenly getting also engulfed in her husband's warm arms.

The little family made its way to one of the bedrooms, sitting on the bed.

George wiping Mimi's tearstained face and the woman also wiping the small boy's tears.

"Mommy no want me?" he sadly asked, stumbling on his own words, looking up at his aunt and uncle with big puppy eyes and quivering lips.

Mimi hugged him tight to her chest, needing to see, to feel, her little boy.

Just some months, and then he was going to legally be hers.

Just some months, and George and Mimi finally could be called parents.

"Johnny I love you" she muttered into the soft tuft of brown auburn hair.

The little boy snuggled into the warmness of his aunt, cuddling into her arms.

"I 'ove you too" he said, grinning up at his auntie.

George grinned, "I love you, boy"

He turned around and smiled at his uncle, "I 'ove you too, uncle!"

They both leaned down to kiss their boy's forehead and quickly hugged together, falling asleep cocooned into family warmness.

Body curled up, stiff and unmoving.

Large eyes glazed over and staring at nothing.

John was deep into a catatonic state. He couldn't move. He couldn't snap out of his state.

Paul was worriedly stroking his head, softly grabbing him from under his arms, pulling him against his chest.

He grabbed his stiff wrists and curled up hands, gently rubbing the boy's hand against his cheek, softly talking to him in a sweet voice.

John wasn't showing any sign of consciousness or awareness.

His breath was coming out in shaky breaths, his body spasming sometimes.

His forehead was clammy and warm and Paul was afraid he might have developed a fever.

"Johnny, look who has arrived" whispered Paul, turning around towards the door.

Mimi had just entered, worriedly looking at John's faraway expression.

"I tried everything" whispered Paul, rocking back and forth the spooked boy.

"He's still catatonic and I don't know what to do. I tried everything we usually do to relax him, but I couldn't" Paul was feeling bad.

He couldn't help him.

Mimi sighed, "It's not your fault, Paul. Sometimes he reaches such serious conditions..."

McCartney shook his head, "I'm his therapist, I should be able to help him"

Mimi got closer, posing her hand on his shoulder, making him look up, feeling lost.

"It's alright. I know how hard it is to snap him out of his state. I know you're giving all the help you can. But he still has to do a long journey to achieve happiness" she sighed, softly picking the boy up and holding him protectively against her body.

"He looks so soft, like the doll of an angel"

"He does, he has always looked small and delicate" softly whispered Mimi, smiling at the boy in her arms.

John's eyes had softly closed and his breath was slow and face relaxed.

Mimi was cradling him tenderly, but she looked up at Paul with deep brown eyes.

Paul gulped. If he didn't know any better, he would have said she was John's biological mother.

"It's his mother's fault"

"His mother?"

"Yeah. As a child, John also suffered from seizures along with severe speech and movement delay" she said.

She eyed a chair, before moving towards it and carefully sitting on it, perfectly balancing John in her lap.

Her smile was sad, longing, but also a bit angry.

"She drank. She tried to abort him" the creepy sentence was accompanied by a hand gesture.

Paul could feel shivers through his whole body.

How could a mother do that to her own child?

"She failed, but what she did affected John. He was a small child, he didn't start talking correctly until he was in his late 3s and still sometimes have seizures"

Paul noted that tears were swimming in her eyes and suddenly understood that it hurt more than he thought.

"Well, at least he has you" he whispered, standing up from his chair and walking closer to her.

"At least I have him. I had to bury way too many of my own" at that broken sentence, Paul suddenly understood that Mimi had gone through way more pain and hers was just a façade to not hurt and worry John further.

He posed his hand on her shoulder and she looked up with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Paul dared to lean down, hugging her softly sidley, before looking at the still unconscious boy.

With all the pain John had to endure in the short 23 years of his life, it wasn't so surprising John had such deep trauma.

Paul walked the older woman to the door and to the car, carrying John's backpack while she carried John.

While Mimi was putting him into the backseat, John's dull glazed eyes fell onto his boyfriend and a small smile grew on his lip.