The Trouble with Imps

RIta's Article

Percy Weasley’s Big Secret: Weasley Twins and Boy-Who-Lived Tell All

That’s right readers! It is the Big Secret that everyone wants to know. And let me tell you. It truly is a big secret. I was shocked to find out this one. This secret is so horrifying, so horrific, I don’t know if I could ever look Percy Noname in the eye again. What I found out sounded so preposterous that I daren’t believe that it is true. I swear to you readers. Everything that I write is the absolute truth. Here it is…

RS: Thank you for owling me! Is this when your devoted followers finally find out Percy Weasley’s Big Secret?

HP: Yes it is. You see, I was going to do worse when I first found out his secret, but my mates talked me out of it.

(here he looks at Fred and George Weasley and they blush at him)

RS: I’m guessing this….persuasion….is something that can’t be repeated for our readers?

FW: You could

GW: Say that

HP: What we do behind private doors will stay behind private doors.

RS: Of course. Would you like to tell the readers at home why you have finally decided to tell Percy’s secret?
HP: Of course.

(it seems like Harry was going to speak for them all. Their love for each other is so pure and adorable. I was almost melting just by being in the same room as them.)

HP: I was at home when my mates barged in the room. It turns out that Percy had convinced the Minister that Fred and George were Death Eaters or had association with Voldemort and were trying to either corrupt me or kill me.

RS: For the readers’ sake, may I ask if any of it is true?

HP: None of it is. My mates don’t and won’t have the Dark Mark and I am not being corrupted.

(Here Fred, George, and Harry bared their arms and cast a Finite to prove that there was no Dark Mark.)

HP: After Percy convinced the Minister, with no evidence; the Minister shut them down in broad daylight. Even Lucius Malfoy had more curtesy done by at least waiting till they were in private before he was accused of being a Death Eater. Now, my mates’ business will surely suffer for it and I would hate for their business, that they put their heart and soul into, go under because of an irritating prat’s anger.

(Here Fred and George cuddled up to Harry and gazed at him adoringly. I swear readers that the love in the room grew exponentially.)

RS: That is terrible! I can’t believe that the Minister would do all that, and without any real proof either!!

FW: Because of this

GW: We have decided