☆Incorrect Quotes ☆

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Heya Stars, welcome to incorrect quotes!!
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If you've got any good ones feel free to DM them or comment for the club!
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Varian, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!
Hugo: How?
Varian: How what?
Hugo: How could they be worse?
Varian: They couldn't, I lied.
Hugo:

Varian, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!
Hugo: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

Varian: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Hugo: You and me!!!
Varian, tearing up: Okay.

Varian: Are you an 'arr' pirate, or a 'yo ho ho' pirate?
Hugo: I'm a 'I'm not paying $600 for photoshop' pirate.

Varian: Can you keep a secret?
Hugo: Do you know anything about my life?
Varian: No I do not. Good point.

Hugo: *Gets down on one knee*
Varian: Oh my god, it's finally happening.
Hugo: *Falls over*
Varian: The sedative is kicking in.

Varian: You love me, right, Hugo?
Hugo: Normally, I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.

*Varian and Hugo skipping stones on lake*
Varian: It's such a beautiful evening.
Hugo, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

Varian: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.
Hugo: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

Hugo: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Varian, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Hugo:
Hugo: fsh

Varian: You saved me. I owe you my life.
Hugo: No thanks. I've seen it and I'm not very impressed.

Varian: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?
Hugo: *chugs entire bottle*
Hugo: It's perfume.

Varian, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don't really think heels are for me
Hugo, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

Varian: I'm going to take you out
Hugo: great, it's a date!
Varian: I meant that as a threat.
Hugo: See you at five!

Varian: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?
Hugo: Go the fuck to sleep
Varian: What gif I don't want to?
Hugo: Fuck You

Varian, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!
Hugo: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar,
Hugo: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?!
Varian, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS
Hugo: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?!
Hugo: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND
Varian, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ

Varian: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Hugo: Killed without hesitation.
Varian: No.

Varian, pointing: May I sit there?
Hugo: That's my lap
Varian: That doesn't answer my question, Hugo.

Varian: I'm gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.
Hugo: Only if you also don't ask why
Hugo: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.
Varian:
Hugo:
Varian: This one is fine

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