The Beginning

Ch. 18 - The platter

"I don't know, Sandra, you told me I'd be signing a bra. That was kinda anti-climactic," he replies in a mock disappointed tone.

Sandra punches him on the shoulder and his eyes crinkle.

"Sandy."

"What?"

"Everybody calls me Sandy."

"Everybody?"

"Everybody I know at least."

Keanu smiles, "Okay, Sandy."

They continue their lunch, chatting about the scenes, about Jan's cinematography style, about the stunts. "Did you notice he has like six cameras on the bus?" Keanu asks, "What's that about, I wonder?"

*"I get it. I was watching the dailies, and I get it. The dude knows what he's doing, Keanu. He's catching every part of every shot: every flinch, every facial expression, every change in body posture, I get it! He's brilliant."

They talk about the direction of Sandra's character. 

"I hate it, I hate that she's just helpless like every other chick," Sandra complains.

"Helpless?" Keanu challenges. "I don't see it like that."

"Yeah, that's because you're a guy. They alway write good stories for the guy. You're saving the world and I'm just, begging you to save me the whole time."

"So change it," Keanu's response is simple.

"What do you mean? I can't just change it."

"Please. I've seen you do harder things, just change it!" he encourages. "He's your character, make her go the direction you want. Change it."

Sandra rolls her eyes again. "C'mon, let's take it in there." She grabs his hand, pulling him to his feet and leading him into the living room.

They're sitting on the couch again, just like they were the night they watched Casablanca. He has one leg crossed over the knee, she is sitting on one foot with her elbow on the back of her couch and her closed fist holding up her head.

"So, uh, you gonna tell me about that chanting stuff or what?"

Keanu puts one hand on his chin and jaw, the other props up his elbow. "Chanting?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"I don't think I've ever been chanting..."

Sandra rolls her eyes and playfully pushes him.

"You're really choosing violence today, eh?"

"I'm serious! C'mon, Keester, you know so much about me but you never tell me anything about you, except for—" Her voice drops off as she flashes back to that night on the floor in the chalet. She sweeps that vision right out of her head and brings herself back to the moment. Turning again to face him, she meets his eyes and there it is— every so often she swears she can see a hint of sadness behind them.

"What is it? Don't you trust me by now?"

Keanu plants both feet onto her rug and leans forward, elbows on each knee, hands clasped together. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale again.

"I haven't always done the right thing," he begins.

Sandra squints her eyes as she listens. "What do you mean?"

With that, he starts to unload. He talks about getting too deep into the party scene his first few years in Hollywood, "Sometimes drinking or partying to just, make things...easier." He describes the pain of the last time he saw his father. He was around eleven. The visits had been sporadic ever since he'd abandoned the family years ago, but Keanu looked forward to each one. As he got older, there were more times when his dad flaked and didn't show up than times he actually saw him. "Finally, it just stopped."

Sandra took in the faraway look in his eyes. She places one hand on his forearm, a lump forming in her throat. "That's awful. I'm so sorry."

"He's got his own life and now I've got mine," he continues. "Awhile back, it finally caught up with him," he said after describing how his dad was caught up with a rough crowd, committing petty crimes to make money to support his habits.

"Where is he now?"

"Prison," his voice is soft, pensive. He can't look at Sandra as he shares this. "That was my wakeup call. I didn't want to end up like him. I wasn't taken seriously because of my reputation. It never bothered me until I made this beautiful film in Portland. Then I realized if I wanted to continue great work like that, I had to dial it back: Change who I spent my time with, tone down what I'd...partake in. But I still had all this—" His hand is turned up, gripping the air, at a loss for how to describe what he had brewing inside. His face tenses and he bares his teeth in frustration. "This, ahhh, this stuff inside, and I had to put it somewhere so, I started putting that energy in other things."

"Like the meditating?" Sandra asks.

"Well, yeah. That started when I filmed Little Buddha. I hadn't felt such a sense of peace and quiet before that so yeah, I use that, that's one of the things."

"One of the things? What other things, what else?"

Keanu has a sheepish grin on his face as she continues to prod him. "I don't think you're gonna believe this..."

"Try me."

**"Well, I do a little...a little ballroom dancing."

Sandra places one hand on his chest and laughs. She stops when she realizes he's not laughing. "You're serious."

Keanu shakes his head, eyebrows raised a bit. "Yeah. I am. It's kinda like...flying. I like it."

"Omigod. You have to take me. You have to take me! That's it. It's settled. I'm going, no way am I gonna miss this."

Keanu is amused. "Alright, Sandy, you're on. Tomorrow night, six o'clock. I'll pick you up. Wear something you can move in, because these guys aren't messing around."

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Sandra closes the front door. Gesine descends the stairs when she hears the rumble of Keanu's motorcycle as he pulls away. She helps Sandra carry dishes into the kitchen, trying to act casual. "So, Keanu Reeves was here."

Sandra smirks, "Yeah, you were not subtle at all. Here." She pushes the plate of veggies in Gesine's direction. "Have some charcuterie."

"Have some...char-cu-terie? Sandy that's meat. These are crudités."

"Crudités. Omigod." Sandra gasps. "CRU-dités. I called them charcuterie. Do you think he knew that?"

"Most adults do know that, yes," Gesine teases. "He didn't say anything?"

"No. Not a word. He's...not that type. He doesn't like to embarrass people."

Gesine grins, placing the platter into the fridge before walking over to her sister, leaning in and whispering, "Team Keanu."

Gesine turns and walks back to the stairs, disappearing for the night and leaving Sandra alone with her thoughts.

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*Inspired by an actual interview.

**He did take ballroom dancing lessons around this time.