CAPTAIN MOM

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The crew of The Reliant made first contact with a species known as the Zerrelies on the planet of Zerrel. Given that this was a first contact mission, nothing out of the ordinary happened. In fact, this was by far the most uneventful first contact mission Captain Yager had ever been on. The Zerrelies were pretty mundane as far as species go. They were more like humans than anything. John hadn't yet decided if that was a positive thing or a negative thing.

The day after their first contact with the Zerrelies John woke up feeling nauseous and queasy. At first, he thought maybe the unusual Zerrelie cuisine he and the rest of the crew ate that didn't agree with him. Then he woke up the next morning feeling even more nauseous and queasy. He wondered if maybe he had picked up some unknown bug or parasite while on Zerrel. After a few more days of this, he decided to have Doctor Booth check him out in sick bay just to be on the safe side. He sat on the examining table while Amanda scanned him with her medical scanner.

"Hum," she muttered as she checked the scanner's findings.

"What is it, Doc?" John asked, a concerned look on his face. "Did you find something?"

Amanda kept checking the readings on her scanner and didn't answer John right away.

"Doctor?" John pressed her.

"I'm not sure how to tell you this, John."

"What is it? Is it something serious?"

"Well, that all depends on what you consider serious."

"Doctor," John began, getting frustrated, "just tell me what's going on."

Amanda closed her scanner and looked directly at him. She then said the two words he thought he would never hear anyone say to him ever:

"You're pregnant."

"Excuse me," John said, chuckling a little, "I think I may have misheard you. Did  you say I'm . . . pregnant?"

"Yes, Captain, that's precisely what I said. You are pregnant."

To say that John was shocked would have been an understatement.

"I'm pregnant?" he said, raising his voice. "I'm pregnant? How in the hell did that happen? I'm a man from Earth, for crying out loud!"

"Captain, calm down."

"I am calm, damn it!"

"Captain, please try to relax."

"Don't tell me to relax!"

"Captain," Amanda said, gently placing her hands on his shoulders. She then added in a calm voice, "Please calm down."

"All right, all right, I'm calm. I'm calm." He let out a frustrated sigh. "Just tell me how this happened. Are you sure your readings are even correct?"

"I checked them three times, Captain. There's absolutely no question about it. You are indeed pregnant."

"Pregnant?" a voice called out from the doorway. "Did you say he's pregnant?"

Amanda and John both looked over to see Commander Steiner standing in the doorway to sick bay, a look of total shock registering on her face.

"Yes, Commander," Amanda said, nodding and smiling. "Our Captain is pregnant."

"Congratulations, Captain!" Lisa beamed at him.

"Commander," John shot at her, pointing at her, "don't!"

Lisa laughed, which only annoyed John all the more. 

"Doctor, how did this happen?" Lisa asked Amanda as she stepped into sick bay.

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