ONE (II)

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CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE - TO JOHN B


The night John B died, the sun didn't set. It fell.

And the Earth trembled and shook under our feet. The ground cracked open, and I fell to my death. My lungs felt like rocks weighing me down, my throat felt like burning from all the screaming and crying, and my heart stopped beating the moment Shoupe said my brother was dead.

Or at least, that is how it felt at first.

I know my brother is not dead. I can feel it in my bones, in my soul.

John B is like a cockroach. He can not die.

That night, Ward Cameron kicked me out of his house. His daughter, Sarah Cameron, who also happens to be my brother's girlfriend, died that night, too.

I can't speak for Sarah, but if my brother survived somehow, my guess is Sarah did too.

Ward didn't listen to me when I tried to explain. Neither did Shoupe, or the SBI.

The Carrera's took me with them, they let me stay at their home with Kie. That's where I've been staying these last months. I can't complain. Kooks live nicely.

They let me stay in the guest room, but after the first night there, when I woke the whole neighbourhood up with my screaming and my nightmares, I've been sleeping on an air mattress on Kie's bedroom floor.

Power is back on the island, so I spent most of my time on my phone, checking the news every hour for anything related to drownings or dead bodies found. I've also called every single morgue and hospital I could find online. None of them had news about my twin.

The Pogues didn't believe me, either. When I tried to tell them that John B was alive. I can't blame them. I sound exactly as he did when he claimed to be sure that our father was alive. I just hope it doesn't end the same way.

It's only been two months, but the group isn't the same anymore.

We all miss John B. And we all promised to stay together. But I guess it was bound to happen. We needed to cope with all we went through, and each of us had to do it their own way.

Although Kiara and I live together, in the same room, we don't speak much. She makes sure I eat and take a shower every day. And she asks if I want to go to the Chateau, but I always decline her offers. I don't want to be there without John B.

Pope has been quiet. I think he's taking in everything. His friend died, and he lost his scholarship. He lost his future for nothing. I think I'd want to disappear too.

And JJ... It's been weird. We text everyday and everyday he tells me he loves me, and that he's there for me when I'm ready. He's giving me space, which I highly appreciate, because I don't know what to do or think now that John B isn't here.

I still love him. I don't think I'll ever stop loving JJ. And I know it must be killing him, not being able to be with me now. But he understands.

I know John B is alive. However, I don't know how long it'll take for him to come back. He's still a fugitive. The entire island wants to avenge Peterkins' death. It's not safe for him to come back here.

I don't know how long I'll be alone. I never thought I'd have to be an orphan without my brother. I never in a million years thought our summer would end up like this.

This is not what we planned.

Autumn is coming soon. Leaves are falling from the trees, and The Cut looks a little sadder. Or maybe it's just me.

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