Dragon's Blood

History

"Your mothers real name was Kendra," He began, "She was beautiful, and artistic, just as you've always been told. She certainly had a way with plants, with all living things in fact. She was born hundreds of years ago, a Sorceress and immortal, a very powerful being. One of her specialties was controlling nature and the elements – earth, wind, fire, water; she had the world at her fingertips, literally." He looked sad as he remembered, "She chose to give up that power, and her immortal life when she fell in love with your father. His real name was Iydra and he was an Elf as you now know, he lived in the forest we are walking through right now."

"My mother was a sorcerer? But you said Kade was a sorcerer and he's bad, I don't understand?" Iyla was testing her parents names out in her mind, Kendra and Iydra, it didn't escape her notice of course, how similar her fathers name was to her own.

"Kade is evil and he is a sorcerer but the two aren't exclusive. There were many sorcerers at the start of our world and throughout history they were shown to be good, not without their flaws of course, as all beings are, but essentially, they were good."

"So, as a sorcerer, my mother wasn't human either?" Iyla wondered when she was going to get used to these revelations about her parents; probably never.

"To all intents and purpose she had become human," Sam explained, "It's pretty complicated but she basically made a deal with the other sorcerers, her family, to give up her powers to be with your father, she loved him very much and couldn't bear the thought of him growing old and dying while she lived on and didn't age a day. She couldn't bear the thought of being without him."

"And he was a dragon tamer?' Iyla asked.

"Yes," said Sam, "As many Elves are. Anyway, before long, your mother gave birth to Tobias, your brother."

"I feel like I can remember him a little bit," said Iyla," and my father, but I can never picture their faces, it's more like I can remember how they felt and how they made me feel. I don't feel like I can remember my mother though ... "

"And this is one of the hardest things I need to tell you," said Sam, "You have always been told that your parents and your brother were all lost in the fire that you now know was caused by Kade. This is not yet the full truth I'm afraid and I want you to understand that because I never thought we would get back home, I never thought that you would need to know the full truth. I wanted you to have the comfort of a picture of your family together before this tragedy." His voice faltered and there were tears in his eyes, "Iyla, I am so sorry."

Iyla simply placed a hand on his arm, silently urging him to continue.

"Your mother, Kendra," Sam took a deep breath, "She died on the night you were born."

Iyla pulled her hand back in shock and Sam flinched slightly as she recoiled, as if stung. Iyla wasn't sure how she felt in that moment, she had always assumed, and Sam had never told her any different, that her parents had died together, that she had had both her parents love and care for those earliest years of her life. Sam had gone out of his way to tell her over and over again how deeply her parents both loved her but now he was telling her that her mother had never known her? Did she feel angry with him about this? She really couldn't be sure, she couldn't pinpoint one single feeling that she had about the whole thing if she was honest. Everytime she felt she had a grasp on something it whipped away from her and another emotion took its place, all crashing against her insides like violent waves from a stormy sea.

Sam continued, staring at his own feet as if he was afraid what he might see in Iyla's face if he looked at her. "Tobias was 11 years old when you came along. You were a little unexpected, your mother had a very difficult birth with Tobias and believed she couldn't have any more children. When they found out she was expecting you, they felt very blessed." He swallowed hard, "But Kendra had never fully recovered from Tobias' birth, she was weakened somehow. To be honest, from the moment she gave up her powers she became more - frail I suppose, as a mortal she was vulnerable and delicate. Iydra would worry terribly about her, he often said to me he feared that by giving up her immortality and her powers to be with him, she had caused herself to be out of step with nature somehow, creating some kind of imbalance. It was as if she existed just slightly out of sync with the world and he was always afraid that he would lose her one day."

"You were born sooner than expected. Your mother was often restless and would take long walks in the woods, it seemed to calm her and revive her when she felt weak. Iydra and Tobias had been away. Tobias had also been born a dragon tamer, like your father. His dragon was not yet large enough to fly to him and he and Iydra had gone on a short trip to see it and start the bonding process. They were on their way home and Iydra just knew that something was wrong, such was the deep love and connection he and your mother had. He knew that he was losing her and he simply couldn't get there fast enough." A single tear broke free and trickled down Sam's pale cheek.

"Iydra found her, barely alive and past the point of him being able to save her. She was holding you and as soon as she saw Iydra it was as if she knew she could let go. You slipped from her grasp just as your father reached her side and scooped you up. He said it was almost beautiful, as her eyes closed, yours opened. As her life ended, he saw it immediately continued in you. He felt that Kendra could never have lived long as a mortal, it just wasn't meant to be, it wasn't what nature intended, however much they both wanted it. She could only truly live through you, a tiny, perfect child born of pure love, something that was as natural as anything in this world could possibly be ... "

Finally Sam looked at Iyla but she couldn't look back at him, she felt his eyes on her and she knew he would be able to sense what she was feeling, even if she couldn't understand it herself, she wondered if her emotions might be clearer to him than they were to her.

"I know," Sam said, as if she had spoken the question out loud, "That hearing these things is confusing and upsetting. I understand that your emotions are in turmoil and I know too, that it is my fault you are having to deal with this all at once, under already traumatic circumstances. I don't know if I have made the right decisions or the wrong ones over the years and I will probably never know. I do know that I love you as if you were my own daughter Iyla, and that I never wanted to cause you pain. Anything I've ever told you, or hidden from you, I've done it out of love and a desire to keep you safe and happy. If I have failed you in any way I am more sorry than I could ever explain."

There was a long silence, Iyla desperately trying to sort through her thoughts. Finally she said the only thing she felt she knew for certain at that point.

"I don't ... I don't blame you."

Sam looked at her in surprise.

"I think that's all I've got at the moment," Iyla said, still unable to look at him. She wasn't angry with him, how could she be? The logical part of her brain knew that he had always done what he thought was best. How could he have possibly known they would end up back here, under these circumstances? He had left everything he'd ever known to keep her safe, he had dedicated his life to raising her and he had honestly believed they would never come back to this world. What good would it have served, telling her the whole truth about her childhood and how her family had been lost? It would have made no sense to her at all in the world they had been living in. But she did feel anger, she felt cheated too. These feelings had no real direction, she wasn't sure what to aim them at and that was what caused her to feel so confused and conflicted she supposed. She couldn't even honestly say if she felt sad and in a strange way she even felt angry with her parents. She shook her head as if it would magically unravel the tangle of thoughts and feelings, but it didn't of course.

She felt Sams hesitant touch on her arm and tried not to pull away.

"I know it's hard Iyla," he said, "You need to feel these things to come to terms with your past and to help you understand your future. As a Chandak, I am capable of calming human emotion, if it gets too much ..."

"I don't want to not feel it," Iyla said, surprising herself, "But thanks, I - I'll let you know." She sighed deeply.

"I think that's enough for now," Sam said gently and Iyla simply nodded, "You need time to get your head around each piece of the story. Are you ok?"

Iyla nodded again but they both knew she wasn't really ok at all. Mostly she just felt numb, the only feeling she could really put a name to was festering deep inside her, a small flame of anger licked at her heart and she pushed it down, anxious that Sam shouldn't sense it. She didn't want him to think it was anger at him, it wasn't. And she didn't want him to know that she was scared of it, scared she might not be able to control it, scared of what it meant. And there it was, a second feeling she could name. She felt scared.