Boundaries (girlxgirl)

Time's up

The day we were dreading finally rolled around. Both of us appeared to be holding our breath because neither of us could find the words to say. Instead, actions spoke a thousand words as we held each other in the room, anxiously awaiting to be called back. 

"Tessa, the doctor will see you now. Ma'am you'll have to wait out here," the nurse stated.

I'm not family, so I can't be in the room with her and we aren't married. "Fuck" I thought.

Tess started to yell and cry, realizing I couldn't be there to comfort her. I wrapped my arms around her and spoke softly in her ear as I tried to calm her down, despite tears streaming down my face. The doctor, who I  had previous interactions with from the time my grandma was in his care, came out to see what was happening.

"Haley! I'm sorry to see you back here, knowing what it's for, but it's good to see you. Are you here with her?" I nodded, squeezing her hand. "You know I can't let you come in for this one, but I'll let you side outside in the hall and you can come in as soon as I'm done."

I looked to Tess to see her swollen eyes pleading for more, but knowing she wasn't going to get it. I wiped her tears and kissed her forehead.

"Go, I'll be right here until I can come in." With a small peck, they disappeared behind the door. I stared at the clock on the wall counting the minutes as they went by. It seemed to take forever. The nurse brought me a coffee and a donut from the coffee shop down the hall to try and cheer me up, but the truth was I couldn't put anything into my body until I had answers.

The door creaked open. I heard her softly crying as Dr. Schwartz came out and patted my shoulder. I walked in and shut the door, leaning against it briefly as if bracing for impact. I sat in the chair opposite of her waiting for her to find the words, but nothing came out. At this point I felt like I was going to explode. I lowered my head, hands shaking from the anxiety I was feeling. At some point I felt her hands enclose mine and bring them to her lips. Our eyes met as she slipped a piece of paper between two of my fingers. Like a kid ripping open a Christmas present, I was going so fast I fumbled with the folded piece of paper that held the results.

I'm not sure how many times I read it in disbelief until I felt her press her lips into mine.

"Baby I'm cancer free," she whispered as she held my face. Now, she was the one comforting me.  I sobbed in her arms, finally realizing I wasn't going to lose her. All of the things I wanted to do and experience with her were still a possibility. 

At the same time she was bringing it up, I realized all I've done is cry, and I hadn't said anything.

"Haley you haven't said an..."

I cut her off and grabbed her hands "Marry me. I promise I'll do it in a more romantic and proper way, but reality hit me today. I had to envision what my life would look like without you in it if the news wasn't good. To be honest, I can't see myself ever being as happy as I am with you. I don't want to know what that's like. No matter how long we have from here on out, I want to spend it with you."

Realizing I still had the glazed donut, I pulled it out and held it in my hand. "It's the only thing I have shaped in the form of a ring until I can get you a proper one. So I ask again.. will you marry me?"  At this point she was laughing hysterically, causing a crowd of staff by the door. 

"If you kneel she might take you more seriously," one of the nurses chuckled. 

I kneeled, causing her to laugh even more, before she grabbed the donut from my hand and took a bite.

With her mouth full, I heard her mumble "How can I say no to donuts!?"

"So is that a yes," someone yelled.

She kneeled down with me to be eye level. "Every day from here on out my answer will be yes." Smiling, I grabbed her and kissed her like it was the last time. Not everyone has the chance to kiss the one they love one more time. I just happened to be a lucky one.

That's a wrap.