GREYSCALE WARMTH | TK

Chapter Five

Despite his shy persona, Jeongguk does surpassingly well in front of large crowds and recording cameras. He smiles, charming his way into everyone's hearts, then answers each question with sincerity because, truth be told, that's what his life is all about — sincerity. Even in his books, his feelings are out in the open for everyone to read.

Yet not many seem to understand that.

When another reporter raises her hand, Jeongguk quietly bows towards her, a gesture for her to voice out her questions. She stands up excitedly with a large smile on her face, one that makes Jeongguk's lips rise slightly at the corners as well.

"Mister Jeon, many of your fans have noticed that you've been different during the past few weeks." The girl's fingers are shaking around her microphone and she's trying her best to avoid stuttering, something Jeongguk finds relatable because he feels the exact same way. "Can you tell us the reason?"

For a few seconds, all Jeongguk does is simply stare at the girl before he realizes he actually needs to answer her question. He certainly doesn't want to tell them about Taehyung but he decided that avoiding the truth is better than creating a scandal.

"People change. We are supposed to after all. I have simply found inspiration in the world surrounding me." The girl tilts her microphone, signaling for Jeongguk to keep going, something that annoys a part of him, the one that's not yet used to reporters and their need to find out every little aspect of people's lives.

He doesn't want to continue, to say more, and Namjoon probably notices that because he steps in front of him and asks for a break. The girl looks disappointed but Jeongguk simply looks away, towards the people asking for his autograph.

With a smile on his face and hollowness in his heart, Jeongguk signs the books he is given and tries his best to seem content in front of everyone.

***

Once he stops his car in front of the place him and Taehyung are supposed to meet at, Jeongguk starts panicking— again. He sees Taehyung outside the restaurant and the sight of him brings such confusing emotions and thoughts to his mind that Jeongguk doesn't even know how to describe them anymore — excitement, panic, fear, desire? He's not sure but the fact that the colors around Taehyung and his red beret become more saturated makes him understand one thing.

Among all the confusing emotions Taehyung's presence makes him experience, happiness and excitement are there as well, stronger than his anxiousness.

He steps out of the car, locking it behind him and taking one last glance at himself in its window before finally turning towards Taehyung. When their eyes meet, Jeongguk swears the world stops moving for a few seconds. Taehyung's beauty has that effect on him, he had come to accept his situation during the past few days.

Nothing could ever make him feel the same way Taehyung does. That thought brings both fear and excitement to his chest.

"You're quite early." Taehyung says once they're finally face to face. His hair is tucked underneath his beret, which makes his face look sharper than usual.

Jeongguk simply smiles, then leans in to hug the other, which probably comes off as surprising because Taehyung hesitates for a few seconds before he finally wraps his arms around his body.

"So are you."

When they part, Taehyung's lips are raised in a smile. From then on, their dinner goes smoothly and Jeongguk realizes, as minutes pass, that he might've already fallen far too deep into the eyes of Kim Taehyung and their mysteries. Whilst he is open about his own life, about his upcoming schedule, even about his family and past, Taehyung is not. He's reluctant and avoids Jeongguk's questions smoothly but the poet lets him because he knows how growing up with high pressure on one's shoulders feels like and he most certainly does not want Taehyung to feel that way around him.

"So your sister is currently in America?" Taehyung asks, genuinely interested, which makes Jeongguk's chest warm up even more.

He finishes chewing, then nods hastily. Melancholy fills his whole body as thoughts of his younger sister enter his mind. He misses her, a lot, but he has to remind himself that distance is good sometimes, that she is happy and that's all that matters.

"After our dad's death, my mother enrolled her into a high school there and they left together." Leaving him behind, he reminds himself as a sad smile appears on his face. "They found it difficult to live in the same house my father died in so they just left. I haven't seen them in at least 4 years."

Jeongguk avoids telling the other that his mother doesn't even call him anymore, that she hasn't come to any of his publishing events. He sometimes wonder if she cares.

A frown appears on Taehyung's face after that and Jeongguk starts regretting bringing up his bad family situation. Happiness look best on Taehyung, he wants to only see him like that — happy.

"You should meet them soon. Family is important and every day matters. We never know when it might be our last."

There's sadness in Taehyung's eyes as he speaks and, even if his lips raise in a smile, Jeongguk can't sense happiness in his expression at all. He still nods, wanting to erase the subject and the darkness away.

His attention goes back to Taehyung's red beret, the color of it now less saturated than before. He knows that he misses his family but the fact that his emotions change drastically whenever he gets reminded of their absence shocks him every time.

Jeongguk doesn't have time to analyze the situation longer because Taehyung's hand envelopes his and, just like magic, the beret suddenly becomes so saturated that looking at it hurts his eyes. He squints as he looks away, meeting Taehyung's irises and making the other laugh.

"Do I have that much of an influence on you?" He asks, cheekily, because Taehyung is like that. He's by no means shy, as Jeongguk had initially thought — he's more of a menace than anyone he's ever met but that makes him even more interesting.

"You do." Is all he says as he takes a hold of Taehyung's fingers as well, the other's rings feeling cold against his skin. "The world is brighter when I'm with you."

Taehyung smiles but Jeongguk fails to notice the sadness enveloping his irises or the glassy coat covering them. He fails to notice the fact that Taehyung stares blankly at his food, even fails to notice the moment the boy mistakes certain vegetables as being something else.

He fails to notice then and that brings his own destruction.

we were young and foolish
and i failed to realize that
some souls are meant to meet
and fall in love
but not be together

i wished for our story to be different
but in the end
all stories come to an end

and not all are happy

and yet i wonder,
how would our end be?
what would the last line of our story
sound like?

would it bring tears of joy to our readers
or would it bring...

if i had known then
what the last line of our story would be
maybe i would've tried to stop..

you