SID (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 26 (A Dumbass Move!)

"What are you getting at?" Tazuna asked wearily.

"This. I wanted to know if they were after us, ninja attacking ninja, or if they were after you, the master bridge builder."

Damn, his voice just got deeper.

"When you put in your request, you asked for standard protection from robbers and highwaymen. You didn't say there were ninja looking for you, hunting you down. If we knew this, it would be a B-rank mission or higher."

Ayeee, this just got exciting!! Sid grinned.

"Our task was simply to get you to your destination, and protect you while you finish building your bridge. If we knew we'd be fielding attacks from enemy ninja, we would have staffed differently and charged for a cost of a B-mission. Apparently, you have your reasons, but lying to us is not acceptable. We are now beyond the scope of this mission." Kakashi lectured.

Sid's eyes wandered around everyone, wondering what her teammates were thinking.

All of a sudden, Naruto stabbed his hand. The fuck, I thought that was MY thing?

Still, Sid stared at him like he was a masochist.

"I worked so hard to get here! Pushing myself 'til it hurt, training alone for hours, anything to get stronger, to reach my dream. I will never back down again, and let someone else rescue me."

Ah, he doesn't want to be a damsel in distress.

"I will never run away, and I will not lose to Sasuke."

What's this shit got to do with Sasuke? Ancient rivalry? Forbidden love? The fuck? Sid sweatdropped. I didn't realize he took things so seriously.

"Upon this move, I make this pledge, believe it. Bridge builder, I'll complete this mission, and protect you with this kunai knife."

The dude's name is Tazuna, Nardo. Don't do him dirty like that. Nevermind, the dick doesn't deserve that type of respect. Wait-Naruto's grinning creepily, what the fuck?

"Don't worry, I'll be fine!"

"I don't think you're mentally stable, fam." Sid sweatdropped. Then again, is anybody really?

Kakashi stood awkwardly. "Naruto-uh, that was really cool, how you took the poison out and all, but if you lose any more blood, you'll die."

A bird chirped.

"Good idea to stop the bleeding now. Seriously." Kakashi gave him a closed eye smile.

Sid glared at him in annoyance as she took some bandages out of her pouch. "Shut the fuck up, scarecrow. The Chungus doesn't like you."

"Uh-what?"

Ignoring Kakashi, Sid walked over to Naruto. "Before you start screeching like a banshee about how you don't wanna die, don't. Let me bandage your dumbass up."

Naruto closed his mouth, nodding as Sid put medicine on his hand, cleansed the wound, and put bandages on it.

Sid narrowed her eyes in suspicion. This is kinda sus, the speed his wound is healing... I know damn well this boy is too dumb to know medical ninjutsu, so-

"I didn't know you could do that, Sid." Kakashi mused.

He wasn't stupid, he knew that look on Sid's face, how she was looking at Naruto's hand. He knew she would figure it out, so he had to act quick. He couldn't let her find out, he had to keep the truth far away from her as possible.

He didn't know if she'd tell someone or not.

Besides...

'She might still be a spy.' Kakashi didn't like thinking like that, but it was realistic. Sid wasn't off suspicion just yet, it's only been a few days, after all.

Sid deadpanned. "What, know simple first aid? Go make yourself useful and do something."

Tazuna whistled. "Harsh."

Sid turned back to Naruto, "Uh-you're scaring me with that serious look on your face." Naruto told Sid. "Am I okay?" He asked, thinking he was really going to die.

Sid nodded. "Yeah, but you don't do reckless shit like this. If you wanted to make a pledge, do that when you're killing an enemy. Like, 'I'll protect you with this kunai knife, brandished with the blood of my enemies', ya'know? Would've been way more cooler, like it would just scream badass." Sid smiled at the thought, nodding to herself that she'll do that one day.

She'll be such a badass, even more so than she is already.

"You could've hit a vein in your hand or sum, though." She shook her head. "Don't be so stupid next time, ight? I still need to teach you the Chungus ways, you're not nearly even cultured enough. I won't let you die like an extra, you must be cultured."

Naruto just nodded, confuzzled.

"Repeat after me. You don't wanna be a side character."

"You don't wanna be a side character."

"No, Nardo, you say 'I', not 'you.'

"I, not you."

"No, I-" Sid snorted. "Say, 'I don't want to be a side character.'

"Say, 'I don't want to be a-"

"For fucks sake, Nardo!"

Naruto grinned. "I don't wanna be a side character."

"You were messing with my dumbass?" Sid rose a brow at the audacity.

Naruto nodded his head proudly, crossing his arms over his chest as he huffed. "Yup! It's 'cuz you always call me Nardo, when my name is Naruto Uzumaki! Say it with me, Na-ru-to, Uzu-mak-iiiii." He dragged out the last syllable in Uzumaki.

Kakashi sweated a bit. 'This isn't going to end well.'

Sid shook her head. "Damn, I didn't realize you were a quick learner, fucking backstabber. I was just tryna help your bitchass!" She dramatically cried.

She put a hand on his shoulder. "Guess I taught lesson 1 a little too good. Nice job, Nardo."

Naruto gained a tic mark. "It's Naruto! Na-ru-to!"

"Okay, Narutoe."

"Gahhh! You did that on purpose!"

"Didn't you say you wanted to be hokagay?"

"Quit it!"

"I recall a certain Uchi-"

"Don't say it." Sasuke warned, staring intently at Sid.

'She's gonna say it.' Kakashi internally bit his nails.

Sid grinned at Sasuke. "A certain Slutty Uchihoe."

Sasuke was convinced to pounce, but he calmed thyself.

She wasn't worth it.

"Naruto and Sasuke, sitting in a tree, f-u-c-k-i-n-g~"

'Oh, god.' Kakashi sighed. Why did he become a sensei?

Sasuke searched deep inside himself, to find his content place. He didn't have a happy place, but he did have a content place.

Sid wouldn't allow him to reach it, though.

"First comes lust, then comes a one night stand, then comes an angry Sakura ready to beat Naruto with a pan~" She teasingly sang.

Don't fall for it, he told himself. She's only spouting lies, after all.

"That's not all of it, that's not all of it, here comes Sasuke eating tomatoes off of Naruto's-"

Dick.

Sasuke attacked.