Chapter 144

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"I was stood up. Can you believe it, me, Sarah Renee was stood up. We waited six fucking weeks for my nipple piercings to heal and this bastard stood me up the second they were done. Make it make sense please," she pants out, exasperated.

"Give me this bastards name and address, I'll go fuck him up. No one and I mean no one stands up my mother fucking best friend!" Hannah booms.

Sarah laughs. "I'll help you."

"I'll drive you guys," I add in, chuckling. Yes, I go boxing but it's only an outlet. I'm good at hitting men who touch me without my permission, not instigating fights or joining in on one. Hannahs had multiple fights and I've hardly managed to pull her away from any of them.

"Okay, but where the fuck you hoes at?!" Sarah bellows. "I didn't masturbate because I was afraid of you guys interrupting me."

I choke on air and Hannah bursts into a fit of hysteria. First Hannah was the only one out of us three with the dirty mouth and now it's Sarah too. It makes me wonder if I'm next.

What am I thinking? There's a brick wall between me and any dirty thoughts I could ever have.

"Bitch how long does it take you to come?" Hannah asks mid laughter.

"Well if you want me to get technical, first I have to—."

"We don't want you to get technical!" I chide, horrified.

"You mean you. I'm all for any new knowledge on the vast quantity of the female spectrum. The shit I do is beginning to grow boring and you guys know why I can't have one night stands so please, feel free to share, Sarah."

"If any of you ever want me to look you guys in the eyes ever again, share it privately, please." Unfortunately, I'm one of the few who could be casually having a normal conversation with someone and then randomly remembers something personally intimate they told me or I've heard of and start blushing and turn into an embarrassing blabbering mess.

"Okay fine but how long are yous gonna be. I'm so fucking sexually frustrated I could hump a tree." She's quick to add, "with its permission of course."

"And if the tree says no you're going to hump one of us instead?" I question, adding mocking terror to my tone. 

"Why does it have to be one of yous, we could always have a threesome. So you know, no ones left out," her voice cracks in a way that shows it's taking everything in her to hold back a laugh.

Sarah told us she's been experimenting with her sexuality and I can't begin to express how happy I am for her. Especially with the fact she removed that stupid promise ring, her dad gave her as soon as she entered high school. Albeit nine years later, but she took it off nonetheless. The only regret I have in life is that I didn't get to see his face when she returned the ring.

"Bitch we best not be in your fucking spank bank." Hannahs jaw drops open at the notion.

"You may or may not be..." she drawls, suspiciously. I know she's doing this on purpose to rile up Hannah and where at first I tried to go along with it, I can't contain my laughter anymore. But as Sarah and I expected she's taking this seriously so hopefully she'll think I'm laughing at Sarah.

You'd think Hannah would be used to Sarah's antics by now but every time she falls for it faster than a cheetah.

"That's it. I'm never getting naked in front of you ever again," her body jolts, visibly cringing. If it was anyone else I'm sure she would have liked it but because it's our childhood best friend I'm not surprised she's disgusted.

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