The Bridge | Bots 'R Us

Chapter 4 | Oops

WASHINGTON CITY, NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL
HOME
OCTOBER 134 AE (2079 AD)

In my youth, watching the streams in the morning, news or otherwise, wasn't my thing. I liked to get going fast, and they'd slow down my metabolism, especially those in multi-screen. Their immersive experience was practically hypnotic. Besides, most of the live fare was inept. Among them, Arteena and Nassif in the Morning attracted the widest audience. And it shined by being the strangest show, too. But as vapid as the anchors could be, they often managed to extract stunning revelations from their guests. Having access to everyone and anyone trending on the planet, the duo would often break the news for their two-billion-strong audience.

Arteena and Nassif had achieved their omnipresence in part thanks to their AIvatars, the most advanced in holostreaming. Seamlessly replaced by their virtual selves, the ubiquitous anchors would appear live around the clock, around the globe, five days a week. Throughout the day, there always was a "good morning with Arteena and Nassif" in a new city and a new time zone. The general expectation was that they were conducting their live celebrity interviews themselves, but you could be fooled. It's one of those things that brings back nostalgia for my youth.

When you grow up, you love to recollect shows from your childhood. After five hundred years, why not feel a strange fondness for a show you used to find vulgar? Even if they were trying too hard to reflect our dizzying world trying to catch its bearings, the show could be endearing. I remember its overwhelming psychedelic sets and its androgynous and intersex hosts so typical of the times. But most of all, I hold dear the one show when my friend Jonah bore his soul to the whole planet. I remember my sweet friend grilled by the host, their strange character switch at mid-interview, and how I could feel his anxiety during the entire experience.

Jonah had agreed to the show's home invasion of his bachelor pad to share the latest learnings of his lifelong quest for self-empowerment and harmony with the Universe, an ambitious lifestyle book ironically called "A Simple Life." He was preaching reigniting the goodwill that had refreshed our global system a generation ago.

When Jonah's segment came upstream, Arteena's hologram popped up in the seat next to his. I had been to his place many times before—and many nights. Still, I could barely recognize it after their "optimization." They had to have at least a handful of dronecams to highlight any fun angles of the room on the multi-screens. And the coding that would bring in the corner of your eye a detail adding to the discussion was brilliant!

Arteena started the usual banter a host would break into with a young author. I had a hunch the show hadn't pulled all the stops for Jonah. His interviewer had to be Arteena's AIvatar... Jonah obliged with offering his "simple life" recipes for meditation, gardening, contemplation, arts, crafts, loving, and much more.

But as he delivered them, both light and profound, I could only see his deer-in-the-headlights look saying, "this book is already obsolete, we are doomed!"

And this is when the genius of the show kicked in: They switched to the real Arteena, there and then! It was like in the movies when the actor's hairstyle changes from one take to the other. With the difference that she changed... gender!

An intersex person from the city-state of Vienna, she/they would adjust their appearance to their goals. For Jonah, they'd become a sensitive gay man, because they knew he liked men, and thanks to their shape-shifting talent and some bad-ass Osmosis research, they could pass for a great match. That scheme often yielded the most intimate confessions from the guests. Some said Arteena also had psychic abilities. After the alter-ego had mused about gardening, travel, and meditation, the real deal entered the scene and went for the kill.