Love Maze | BTS Poly

For You, I'd Bleed Myself Dry

"Need I remind you who ended the initial relationship?"

"No, I'm fully aware I'm the person who called it quits. I had no choice and yet you still hold a grudge against me."

Yoongi scoffs.

"You act like I wasn't hurting during that breakup. It was so fucking painful. I cried every single day for a fucking year, Hyung," Hoseok continues.

"Why the fuck would you have been upset?"

"Because I loved you."

He folds his arms. "I told you we could've stayed together in secret."

"That wouldn't have been healthy for us. Could you imagine hiding it from the others? Lying to them constantly? We couldn't live with that guilt. It'd tear us apart."

"You know, the outcome didn't matter in the long run."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Whether we stayed together and kept our relationship a secret or we broke up, it didn't matter. Because in the end, we were torn apart anyway," Yoongi clarifies.

"Hyung, don't say that." Tears brim Hoseok's eyes. "P-Please don't."

"Why not? It's true."

The hot tears burn Hoseok's cheeks as they roll down; they burn with anger. "Do you get off on hurting people?"

Yoongi doesn't reply. He just shakes his head, his jaw clenched.

"Seriously," he carries on. "I don't even know you anymore. Did you have some sort of epiphany while being here? Is there something in the Ohio air that makes people fucking assholes?"

"I'm not an asshole," Yoongi chides.

He laughs humorlessly. "Then what are you?"

Yoongi states, "Afraid."

"What're you afraid of, Hyung? Be honest with me."

Yoongi's fists are tightly squeezed and his nails dig into his palms out of frustration; frustration with himself. He's finding it so difficult to speak and to convey his emotions properly. And when he does find the correct words, it comes out as, "I'm afraid of how deeply I love you."

"Elaborate," he softly demands. He's dying for an explanation. "Please."

"How can I, Hoseok-ah? I don't understand my own feelings, so how can I begin to describe them? I'm so confused."

With a heavy sigh, he says, "Goddammit."

Yoongi's eyebrows knit together.

"Namjoon was right," Hoseok reveals. "I hate that he's always right."

"Right about what?"

"He said I'm the one you love most in this world. He also said you believe that if you're honest with your feelings and with me, you'll get hurt. You believe I'll hurt you. And you're scared of that."

Yoongi curtly nods, basically agreeing with Namjoon's words. He couldn't explain what was going on in his mind, but somehow, Namjoon was able to. Is that what happens when you have a high IQ? You're given the ability to read minds?

"Hyung," Hoseok starts, "I hope you know I wouldn't hurt you."

"But you did. You already did."

"I-I know and I'm so sorry for that. It was never my intention. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I failed to see how it would affect you. How it would affect us. And I never even considered your feelings. I was so young and stupid." He takes Yoongi's hand in his. "I'm asking a lot here and I'd completely understand if you were to say no, but can you ever forgive me?"