Dreams Only Last For A Night - (Jalex)

Chapter 10 - "Stay (Asleep) Awake"

It's 2:30am and I can't sleep, I'm so tired but I'm not in sucha hurry to get to sleep, I mean I would normally be so eager knowing what awaits me in my dreams, but after realizing that Alex isn't home alone tonight just makes me sick, and after me being so concerned of his well being, even though he wasn't so concerned of my well being earlier, I mean I was fine but still, he should've offered or even asked if I was gonna be ok to walk to the nurse's office but he didn't.

Although, I'm not the one who should be mad, I mean I probably deserve it, I know I hurt Alex, but he needs to understand that he's hurting me too. I just wish I wouldn't have said anything about the brother thing, I mean it didn't even really matter, it's not like I was ever gonna have the balls to tell Alex how I really felt anyways.

Maybe I should just apologize to him and tell him that I was just joking around, but then if I say that I'd just be lying to him. Why is lying so easy for me? It's getting to be a hassle in dealing with. I let out a long satisfying yawn before turning to my side, I need to get some sleep but the thought of seeing Alex just makes my heart ache in pain of all the things he and Stella could or couldn't be doing right now or finished doing and are now laying snuggled up together on his bed. I rubbed my eyes as I got back into reality and stopped myself from thinking too much about the whole situation with Alex and Stella being at his place all alone for the night. I hate this. I hate them. I don't hate Alex and Stella separately, but I'm not gonna say I like them together as a couple because... well there's a ton of reasons; one of the reasons I hate them together is... well the obvious reason is because I'm in love with Alex but the main reason is because all they do is fight and when they're not fighting they're sucking each others faces off and neither one of those are pleasant to watch, they pretend they're happy but they ain't fooling anybody but themselves, Don't get me wrong at first they were happy and it showed, I couldn't be happier for them, honestly, I knew I couldn't tell Alex how I felt and live happily ever after with him, making sure he was loved unconditionally and happy, so when Stella came into Alex's life and saw that she could make him as happy as he was at first with her, I practically gave her permission to be that person, to make sure he was loved unconditionally and happy sense I couldn't, and from what I had seen she was doing a pretty damn good job of making sure of that, so that made me happy to know Alex was happy, even though I wasn't actually the person making him happy.

I yawned again but this time it wasn't as satisfying and sighed, I looked at the clock that sat next to my bed, it was now 3:10am, I seriously need to get some sleep... and to stop thinking about Alex so much, it's unhealthy how most of my thoughts are about him, but I guess that's what happens when Alex Gaskarth takes over your life. I slowly begin to close my eyes and instead of shutting down for the night my brain is more active than ever, I drift off a little, 'sleeping never felt so good right now', I thought as my eyelids began to feel heavy, I yawned once again, rubbing my tired eyes hoping they'd wake up, I'd give anything to have the dreams stop, just for tonight. I finally quit fighting it and closed my eyes completely, all I can see is darkness, after a few seconds of letting my eyes wonder I finally fall asleep.

...

I somehow end up in Alex's house, my eyes analyzed every inch of the livingroom like I've never seen the inside of his home before, I walked throughout the home trying to find Alex and/or Stella but realizing that I'm dreaming and that I'm really at home asleep, I knew I wouldn't be seeing Stella... or at least hoped I wouldn't be seeing her. Searching the whole house I see no sight of Alex or anybody for that matter, odd, I walk back down stairs and take a seat on the couch, I take a deep breath to prepare myself for when Alex comes walking through that door, I mean what would I even begin to say to Alex when he does actually come walking through that door? I know this is a dream I'm not stupid, but even when I'm not dreaming and Alex comes close to me, it feels like I'm dreaming. I sometimes wish these dreams were real, I want to be with Alex but there's just so many obstacles I have to face just to be with him, I'm not saying Alex wouldn't be worth it because he would diffidently be worth it. I'd do anything just to get close to him let alone be with him, but I'd also do anything to keep from having our friendship end, so if that means me putting aside my feelings and never getting the chance to be with Alex to keep our friendship from ending then that's just something I got to do.