The Land of Ryu by Yukidarumaaa Fantasy & Adventure | Filipino & English First Person Limited
sorry for the delay
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📌 let us do this by parts
❂ FIRST PART
➤ Redundancy - "where dragons roam the country" & "home of the dragons". I think it is unnecessary to repeat the fact that Ryu is a land inhabited by dragons. If you need to emphasize that idea, at least don't do it in the same sentence.
➤ Word Choice - (1) Takara did not just appear in Ryu, she has been living there for as long as she can remember. Using the word appear makes it seem like she had just arrived in Ryu.
(2) Roam - based from your work it doesn't appear that dragons can easily roam the land. Yes, they are abundant in Ryu but they do not roam freely among the people, they are still hidden away from normal folks.
❂ SECOND PART
➤ Word Choice - (1) "Mula bata pa lamang" change it to "Bata pa lamang"
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