The Legendary Idiot by BlueDevine Action & Mystery/Thriller | Filipino & English Third Person Omniscient
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❂ WORD CHOICE
➤ Misused Words - "concealed memories" implies that she knowledgeable hid her memories instead of it being a psychological process of losing memory.
➤ Vague Words - "Some turning point" it feels like you are just telling this story to a friend without actually knowing what will happen. As the author you need to pull as towards your story and using those three words does not help your cause. You can just say "with the death of her loved ones, she decided to become a police officer"—or something similar.
❂ PHRASING - your old blurb was better than this one. The old one just needed rephrasing but this new one needs a lot more help.
➤ Question - what is with that question? You don't need to add a direct question to a blurb to elicit intrigue and thought from your readers. This is like telling your readers to ask a question instead of showing them details in order for them to ask themselves a question.
![VOYAGER: a review book [HIATUS]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/270123752-64-k115172.jpg)