"Kyle." I called his name with a trembling voice. "You're lying." I said in a choked sobs even though I know he won't be able to hear me. "I thought you say you're going to go out with me on Sunday. It's tomorrow. You're going to wake up right?" I reached out to his hand. It's cold.. Almost as if he's dead. The thought of him dying made me felt nauseous and I'm scared. He's the best one and only friend I've ever have. He's a sibling. And maybe.. Just maybe.. To me he's more than just a friend.
"Why did you hide it from me?"
I never know he's sick. He's healthy and good in sports so I've never thought he'll have to get a surgeries like this. I rested my head against the mattress next to him crying. "I swear I'm going to beat you to death once you're out from hospital.." I sobbed. "I hate you." No. It's most likely 'I hate myself' for not being able to be honest with myself. It was only then I noticed that I liked him. I really like him and I couldn't bear the thought of losing him. I've always liked him.. More than just a friend. I indeed used to have a crush on him when we were little. It was what adult called childish love and I never really take it seriously.
"I love you too." Kyle's fingers twitched and faint voice came out from his mouth. I looked up completely shocked and the tears that I thought didn't want to fell again rolled down my cheeks. "Why you didn't tell me anything about this?" I balled my fist crying. I would love to punch him at this moment looking at how he sheepishly grin as if there's something funny happened.
"Aww why are you crying? I'm fine see?" He tried hard to move his arm but whined in pain. I pressed his body forcing him to stay still and he grins.
"You should've told me!" I said slightly raising my voice and his body stiffened.
"It's just a surgery. Everything went well." He replied trying to stop me from scolding him.
"Just? You could've dead!" I broke into tears again. "You're safe now. But what about the other surgeries you have to go through?" As soon as I finished my words Kyle's expression darkened and I knew he know about the chance of success. It's too low. A second later a chuckle left his mouth and his body relax.
"It's really weird." He gaze into my eyes. By now I can tell that my eyes are puffy and red. "I'm just giving you the chance to spend time with Isaac. After all we've spent most of our time together. I wouldn't want to ruin your first date." He forced out a bitter laughter.
"That's a stupid excuse." I said still sobbing.
"Yes I know.. Lame excuse." A sigh left his mouth. "I told you it's weird. Everything is weird. Tell me Miqaila.. Have you ever felt something weird when I hold your hand in mine?" He wrapped his hand around mine and my heart skipped a bit. His words made me speechless and it sounded like a.. Confession. There's no way..
"It's weird isn't it? I'm happy that you finally have someone who love you like Isaac. He's a nice guy. But it's weird that I feel suffocated when I saw you holding hand with him. My chest felt heavy." His expression changed and he sounds like he's in pain.
"You might hate me when I say this but I've always dreamt about growing old with you. It must be fun to go through the each days with you." He went silent.
"About what I said earlier.. I really meant it." He locked his eyes with mine searching for something. "I liked you. I've love you even before you had crush over Isaac." He muttered and my sobs worsened.
"I know that I might not survive the next surg-"
"Enough Kyle!" I raised my voice. "I don't want that. You'll survive.." My throat went dry and it's hard to talk.
"No listen to me Miqaila. You know how busy my parents aren't you? They don't care enough to come here even though I'm going through this surgery and the only person that come to see me is you." His eyes softened and he reached out his hand caressing my face.
