sugar and spice [shameless uk]

03

║ YOU CANNOT BLOW SOMEBODY STRAIGHT

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ALEX DRAGGED BEHIND LIP AND IAN, AS THEY MADE THEIR WAY TO THE HOUSE OF KAREN JACKSON.

As much as Alexandra had tried to wriggle out of the tutoring, her mother had been phoned. Mimi could indeed be scary if you went against her wishes. Alex knew she couldn't turn up at the Gallagher house, as she was sure Fiona had it out for her. There had been at least two occasions where Gallagher boys' had went home bruised because of her. Lip with his... bruised parts after not leaving her alone (and trying to get into her pants) and Carl when he'd came much too close to her bum (blaming it on childhood curiosity). He'd ended up with a bruised nose, which luckily turned out not to be broken. He was still a kid and she had expressed some restraint
because of this, softening the blow.

And vice versa, if Phillip was to set foot within a few feet of her house. He'd be a dead man walking and Fiona would have something to complain about when he'd been kneecapped. The settle was Karen Jackson's house (or as she called her blowjob lips) who was a part of their study group apparently but Alex sensed something was off. Even Ian hadn't been listed in their study group, but she could tolerate him (much more than lip in particular).

"Karen it's your little helper. I'll get you carrier bags." Sheila spoke, peering around the door frame that still remained connected to the chain.
Alex furrowed her eyebrows at Lip and Ian becoming barefoot.
"She has a thing with the... outside. Shoes off Alex, there's a good girl." Lip laughed.

"You're not seeing my feet."
"I'm not in a desperate need to see your feet." Philip scoffed.
"Stupid.." Alex grumbled, bending down and pulling off her trainers. Lip took his opportunity and blatantly admired her bum in her jeans, knowing he'd pay for it later.

"Lip. Look at my bum again and your other part will get broken." Alexandra snapped, as she came back to standing up. "Accidentally" elbowing Lip as she picked up her shoes.

"Not the Crown Jewels again!" He declared theatrically, placing his hand over his parts.
"Hardly Crown Jewels. I think I'd be doing a favour for all women if it just got... broken."
"Karen can't give me another blowjob if you break it."

They were interrupted by a clearing of a throat, looking up to a naive Sheila (standing by the now unlocked door, with three carrier bags).

"Ladies first."

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"THAT'S THE EASY WAY TO REMEMBER HOW TO SOLVE THE EQUATION."

Lip demonstrated a long ass solution to a random equation, trying to distract Alex as Karen climbed under the table.
"I don't need to know this. I'll be part of the family business soon."
"Is that the only aspirations you have for yourself? A drug dealer and kicking down doors on the estate?" Lip frowned. It was the first time Alex had seen him be genuine, instead of putting up a cocky front and he'd surprised her.
"I'm not the academic type, it's a good option. Money wise." She mumbled, her eyes focused on finishing her doodle of a spaceship over all the maths questions. The glowing light of the spaceship was abducting all of the equations and making them disappear.

Lip chuckled as he glanced down at what she was focused on.
"You're not a bad artist."
"Gee thanks, Phillip. Not bad. I didn't come here for a heart to heart with you." She mumbled, twiddling her pen between her fingers. The pen slipped from her gasp in the twiddling motion and she bent to get it.

"I'll get it!" Lip darted forward, but in the rush failed to realise Alex had also moved forward. Their heads bashed together quickly and Alex sat up (not before she could notice Karen going to town on Ian).
"Phillip Gallagher, did you just give me concussion or is something else going on here?" Alex rubbed her head cringing with the banging pain.

"Something else?" He feigned innocence.
Alex decided on a direct approach, giving him direct eye contact and making a blowjob motion with her hands toward her lips.
"I just need to know if he likes it.."

The meaning of his words took a while, but it eventually hit her. Ian must be gay. It made sense. He wasn't exactly a womaniser like his brother (perhaps she could tolerate him more because of his friendship approach towards woman).

"You cannot blow somebody straight, Phillip." She hissed, moving closer to him to avoid Sheila hearing.
"That's not what's happening here."
"Is that a mirage under the table? Does she have magic blowjob lips?"
"He needs to try it. The magazines he has, they're unnatural."

"Lip. He's not broken. He's still your brother, he's still Ian." Alex found herself being surprising gentle with the boy. She had a similar experience, a sneaky suspicion that her brother Mickey didn't go towards woman. He'd never said it out loud or anything, bit of a dope in general but she still loved his innocence (gay, seemingly gay or not).
"Alexandra. I didn't come here for a heart to heart with you." Lip mocked her.

"Right I'm off! Oh hiya lads and lady." Eddie (Karen's father who couldn't have arrived at a worse time) called loudly. He noticed his daughter had company, entering the living room and placing a hand on Ian in greeting. Ian visibly tensed and Alex had to bite a smirk. This was Karma from Lip unconsciously trying to turn his brother straight.

"Where's our Karen?"
"Went looking for a felt tip."
"Bathroom! Oh.. I mean I need the bathroom." Alex yelled out blatantly, quickly adding the last part to avoid the excuses clashing.
Eddie smiled at Alex's declaration (probably thinking his daughter had nutty friends) and ruffled the top of her head before going into the kitchen.

Lip sniggered at the scowl that Alex sported, smoothing down her hair. Alexandra gave him a smug smile and swung her leg under the table, kicking him in the shin. She quickly excused herself to the bathroom to add belief to her excuse, grabbing her cigarettes along the way.

As she locked the bathroom door, she observed the meticulousness of the bathroom (down to a handwritten sign on the soap telling everybody to wash their hands). She scoffed and opened the window, lighting up a cigarette before leaning out of the window. She didn't fancy Sheila, the woman who was scared of the outside, noticing she'd smoked in her bathroom.

The zoning out moment was short lived, as she enjoyed the air and the buzz from the nicotine (being drawn into the real world by a particularly loud banging on the bathroom door).
"Five minutes!" Alex called out, disgusted she had to waste the rest of the cigarette as she dropped it out the window.

"Alex! Get your ass out here!" Lip pleaded. She wasn't used to the desperate tone and opened the bathroom door to see a panting lip.
"I'm guessing you got found out."
"How.. did you know?"
"The angry old man charging up the stairs behind you." Alex said flatly, grabbing her cigarettes.

He cursed under his breath, grabbing her arm and pulling her to the nearest and biggest window. He quickly jumped out first to cushion her landing, closely followed by Alexandra.

"Don't get any ideas." She warned, as she noticed she'd landed sort of into his arms and his one hand was on her bum to support her.
"Of course not." He smirked, as the three rushed down the pavement (after Ian had returned to grab their shoes).

"Come back here, you little animals!" Eddie called out, charging out the door on his bike. In his hopes of following them. Alex laughed loudly, for the first time in a while and glanced at the two grinning brothers (one in particular... with bright eyes).