Skinny

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⚠️ Hi so if you're currently recovering from an Ed or you had an Ed please don't read it it may be trigging and also if you've ever self harmed also please don't love you guys ⚠️

I wake up next to Vinnie his arms wrapped around mine. "Oh goodmorning there babe" he says with a smirk. "Hey baby" I reply. "I have that photo shoot with Jordan today ughh but I really don't want to be without you" he says. "It's only for a couple of hours you'll be fine go Vinnie come on" I say as I push him out of bed. He whines but then goes into the bathroom as I hear the shower start. "Hey y/n wanna join!" I hear him shout from the shower. "Um I don't know vin.." I reply. "Come on babe pleaseeeee" Vinnie begs. "Ok ok" I say getting up.

As I walk into the bathroom I strip my clothes off and get in. "Hey" he says as he lifts my chin up with his finger. "What wrong" he says as he looks down at me to see my arms wrapped around my stomach. "Babe you look gorgeous ok please don't hide yourself from me" he says removing my arms. "Yeah you're right I'm sorry Vinnie" I say. "Don't apologise, ok now you do my hair and then I'll do yours ok?" He says. "Ok" I say laughing.

20 minutes later:

Vinnie was all changed and so was I and he left for his photo shoot leaving me alone. I was just standing infront of the mirror. I lifted up my shirt. I wasn't necessarily skinny I had thick thighs and my stomach wasn't exactly flat it was just kinda chubby. And if I'm being honest I don't feel good enough. I mean look at Vinnie rock hard abs and all the other girls here in la look like goddesses and me. Well not.

I kneel down on the bathroom floor crying. I'm not good enough. I'll never be good enough. Vinnie needs someone better. The words replayed in my head like a broken cd.

I see a blade the ones you use to shave. I grab it and start to do a couple cuts down my arm. After I'd done about 6 i stop and clean the blood up.

That's when I get a call from him. "Hey baby" i hear Vinnie from the other end of the phone. "Hey how was the photo shoot?" I ask. "It was great so all of the hype house are going to sway and so is Jordan and maddy so I'll pick you up wear a bikini under your clothes ok" he says. "Oh yeah sure ok" I say.

I definitely didn't plan on going into water but I still out my swimsuit on and out a dress over it. I grab some concealer and start to cover up the cuts. Ok and we're good.

My phone rings and I pick it up. "Babe I'm downstairs" Vinnie says. "Ok coming" I say as I end the call. I shut the door and get in the car.

"You look gorgeous as always" Vinnie says. "Thank you Vinnie you look amazing" I say and we drive off.

We get there and I say hi to everyone. Everyone soon takes their clothes of leaving them in their bathing suits. When I take mine off I'm like the odd one out. They're all skinny.

"Hey babe you good?" I hear Vinnie ask. "Um yeah" I say. "Seriously what's up I know you better than that" he says. "It's just they're all skinny and perfect and I well" I say looking down. "Hey hey hey don't say that you are fucking perfect I love every but if you including you're body ok" he says lifting my chin up looking me in the eyes as he gives me a kiss. "Ok" I say smiling.

God really took his timing making this one.

I sit by the edge of the pool with my feet in as most of the others were in and some of the girls sun bathing.

"Y/n! Yo come in the water!" I hear Josh shout. "No im good!" I yell back. "Aww come on you're no fun" chase says. I laugh, "no way I'm going in" I say.

That's when someone pushes me in. "BRYCE!" I yell as I'm soaked and my makeup comes off making the cuts visible and the chlorine is making them sting. "Ow ow fuck!" I say getting out the pool holding my arm as everyone looks at me.

I was in tears as I grabbed my dress putting it on and leaving. "Y/n!" Vinnie calls after me getting out of the pool.

I walk home ignoring him. "Y/n! Babe" he shouts but I run off as it starts to ran and Vinnie getting in his car.

I was soaked and it was raining real badly. I didn't have my phone and I found an abandoned park and I sit on a bench. I don't know how long pass.

Vinnie pov:

"Fucking asshole she's gone!" I shout at Bryce. Why would she do that to herself why. "Dude calm down we'll find her" Bryce says. "Fuck off man" I say walking off.

Why.

Y/ns pov:

I see someone sit next to me. "Hey" it's Quinton. "Hey" I reply. "Everyone worried sick" he says. "Yeah sorry about that" I reply. "Y/n why would you do it" he asks. "It's not important." I say trying to change the subject. "Ok well you don't have to speak to me but please at least speak to Vinnie he's worried crying shouting going mad" Quinton says. "Yeha thanks I'm sorry about him I'll go back" I say as I stand up. "This way" he says as he leads the way.

"Vinnie?" I say as I go inside our house to see him on the couch crying. "Omg y/n baby finally I looked everywhere" he says hugging me. He pulls my arm and looks at it. "Why y/n why" he asks as I see the tears in his eyes.

"Because Vinnie you are perfect look at you every girl would die to have you I don't deserve you ok you need someone better look at me. All the girls here in la are all fucking perfect and then there's me. I hate myself. I hate my things and my stomach and I hate the way I look. I'm not enough for you!" I say. "Y/n don't feel like that you are perfect to me and I don't care about those other girls because you are the one I want not them you will always be the only one of me. You were there, you are ever hung to me my best friend, the person I can rely on everything . And you are fucking gorgeous and I love your body. And they way clothes fit on you, you look so fucking hot. No one else's could replace you so please y/n don't do that ever again promise me. I can't live without you" he says.

"I promise" I say.

Flashback ended.

Vinnies pov:

That was 16 years ago when y/n did that to herself. She promised and she kept it. But what hurt me more was to see my own daughter do it to herself this time.

"You're gonna be ok" I say as I hug her. "Everything going to be fine ok and remember if you ever need anything or need to speak me and your mom are always here ok don't ever do that to yourself again ok promise Lila" I say. "I promise dad and mom I'm sorry" she says. "No need to be sorry its all fine baby" y/n says.

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