Tomorrow my album is out for the world to hear. I'm nervous as fuck, I haven't been this vulnerable ever when I've put out music. It scares me and it also excites me that this is something entirely different.
The album shows how much I've grown the past two years that I haven't been in the public eye as much as I used to. And I really hope the fans will enjoy that. We sold out the forum in 5 minutes and 43 seconds which is fucking nuts. A sold out forum almost holds and audience of 20 000 people which is fucking nuts to me. I can't understand how all these people will possibly want to come and see me.
But well that's tomorrow's headache, today I'm doing my first performance in two years. And I'm shitting myself. I'm performing my new single along with the song I released with Nicki and Jessie a few months ago at the VMAs. Nicki and Jessie will both be there and that calms my nerves a bit but I'm still nervous for my solo performance.
Right now I'm getting dressed for the red carpet. My dress is well, uh a little revealing and my theme for the night is yellow. Everything I'm wearing is yellow. My red carpet dress leaves an open back and cups my boobs very well. It has a tight fit and a slit up it's right leg. And the dress it self is pretty see through so I'm showing off my legs. And I'm also wearing and open toe yellow high heel to fit with it. The material of the dress is also sparkly which I like. And it's Balmain and is custom made for me so it fits like a glove.
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My stage wear is also yellow but it's a lace bodysuit with long sleeves that almost, and I mean almost make me flash my tits in front of everyone watching it live and on TV. I guess we'll see how that goes. It also has a yellow lace skirt sticking to the waist for my first performance of Born To Die and then I can remove the skirt for our performance of Big Bang. It's an old move but it's so easy.
My performance of Born To Die is going to be quite simple. I will be standing on the B stage in the middle of the audience with a pair of Angel wings behind me making it look like my album cover. My creative director Tory is fucking amazing and I know the tour visuals will be fucking awesome as well. I really like that she values my opinion and wants to hear my thoughts and make it my own show but with her help.
I am finished with my makeup and hair by now Tylor and Freddie worked their magic as usual and my makeup was golden and made my eyes pop with the golden brown and gold on my eyelids. Along with some pink gloss on my lips just to bring out my natural shade. My hair was straightened to the point where I was praying to god that the air wasn't humid and it wasn't going to suddenly become curly. I've never seen anything so straight in my entire life like my hair today.
I liked it though, it was simple but looked good. Some strands tucked behind my ears and were slicked down with some hair gel to not risk it moving.
"You ready to put this beauty on?" Taylor asked and grinned at me. "I am" I said and slipped my robe off just leaving me in a pair of seamless nude thongs. It was the smallest pair I could find to be honest.
