Desolation (MYG)

Chapter 10

You were right. He was easing you into signing the divorce papers by acting like he wanted to apologise to you. If you weren't so shattered right now, you'd pat yourself on the back. How can he stoop down this low? You don't even want to look at him right now. The Yoong sitting in front of you right now is definitely not the man you fell in love with. No, the person in front of you is an entirely different one. You don't know this man. Who is he? 

As you continue to look at the mere piece of paper that has the key to destroying your life, you don't even realise when your eyes start to fill with tears. However, Yoongi notices it and reaches out to place his hand on top of yours. You force yourself to remove your gaze from the divorce papers and move it to his hand that's squeezing yours. You jerk his hand away, a glare in your eyes. You see that he tries to reach for it again but you move your hand off the table, placing it on your lap instead. 

"Y/N, please listen to me." He pleads desperately. Finally, you get yourself to look at his face and you see it. That look. You see that look you've been dying to see in his eyes ever since things started going downhill for the two of you. The look of sheer despair and desperation. But what do you know? What he's done to you has destroyed your ability to trust anyone to the point of no return. You see the sadness in his eyes but you know better than to fall for it. So instead, you choose to believe that he wants this. He wants to divorce you and leave you alone so that he can go off with a woman much younger and more beautiful than you to live happily ever after.  All the insecurities that you've worked so hard on suppressing deep inside your brain somewhere come back to the surface as soon as you see the term "Dissolution of Marriage". It feels like you're falling into a dark hole with no end. You see no end.

"So, this is why you were apologising to me, huh?" You laugh but there is no humour in your voice. He quickly shakes his head. You scoff and continue, "You wanted to ease me into signing the divorce papers, Yoongi?" Tears continue to stream down your face. You have no control over your emotions. If you weren't so distraught yourself, you'd see how Yoongi's eyes have turned red too. Tears on the verge of falling. He wants to cry out his emotions too, but he knows he can't. After all, this is all his doing. He did this to his own family and now, even he wants to desperately reach out for you but that seems impossible seeing how far you are from him. Not physically, no. You are sitting just across the table. But emotionally, you are halfway across the world. But again, who else can he blame for that but himself? 

"Y/N, I know I am the worst man alive right now but please, trust me when I say it's nothing like what you're making it out to be." He begs you to listen but you can't. You are blinded by pain and betrayal. Your head is filled with dark clouds of anger and hurt. So his voice doesn't even reach your ears properly. To you, it sounds like you're stuck inside a sound-proof box and he's trying to talk to you from outside. 

You smile bitterly as the tears continue to stream down your face and get up. "Y/N, where are you going? Please come back. Just hear me out once, please?" Yoongi calls out after you with a strained voice. You go to your study, get a pen from the table and walk back to the dining table. Yoongi sees you holding the shining silver Parker Pen that he had gotten for you when you accidentally broke the one you had before and his eyes widen. He stands up from his seat and walks towards you hurriedly. He tries to block your way by standing in front of you and repeatedly asking you to stop but you don't listen. If this is what he wants, then you'll give it to him. In all these long years of your relationship, you've never said no to the love of your life. Then, who are you to deny his one last request even if it ends up with your soul being shredded apart into pieces? 

You sit back on your chair, placing the divorce papers in front of you. You skim through them but you are unable to retain much with your vision being blurred by tears and your head feeling like it's about to explode. You flip the pages back to the front page and with shaking hands, you click the pen open. By this time, Yoongi has walked back to where you are and now is standing in front of you. His eyes are swollen and red with a sorrowful expression on his face. He knows he has broken you to the point where none of what he says matters. He knows he can't stop you and so, he watches. He watches quietly as you sob. The heaviness in his heart making it difficult for him to breathe. 

You bring the tip of the pen to the dotted line which should have your signature and you look up at him one last time. You see that he's looking back at you but that doesn't stop you from examining his face. He looks incredibly sad. The last time you saw him this sad was when he got injured while practising a new choreography and couldn't perform at the concert they had the next day. You almost let go of the pen. But then you remember his words. 

"I'm in love with her, Y/N. I fell in love with her."

And that is all that takes for you to tighten your grip on the pen as it glides over the paper smoothly. You sign the papers. You wish it hadn't come to this. You desperately want all of this to be just a really scary nightmare that Yoongi wakes you up from with a whisper of your name and a light kiss on the forehead but sadly, that can only happen in movies. This is your reality. Years of relationship that was you gave your all to build is falling apart before your eyes and you can do absolutely to save it now. You don't want to move on, but you have no choice. You have to force yourself to move on. 

You keep the pen aside and pass him the papers back. He still just standing there quietly, not making a move. You're still sobbing uncontrollably. You know you have to do this. You have to end this marriage. With the heavy thought in your head, you do something you never imagined would be this hard considering how much of a menial task it is. You take off your wedding ring and place it on top of the divorce papers. Yoongi notices it and his heart shatters completely. 

"Y/N" He cries out, his voice breaking.

"You should leave, Yoongi." You say wiping your tears but it's of no use as a fresh batch of tears are literally waiting to take their place. 

"Y/N, please" He begs. You can tell that he's about to cry. 

"Leave!" You almost scream. 

He sighs, "Okay, but I'm not taking that. No chance." He says referring to your ring. He takes the paper and walks towards the door. He turns around to look at you one last time before he leaves but you keep sitting on the chair. Your back facing him. He looks down and suddenly he can't control himself anymore. A sob leaves his throat as he turns around and quickly walks out of the door, shutting it behind him. Hearing him crying makes your heart drop but you don't do anything about it. 

He's made you cry too many times for you to care.

_____

(A/N)

Hiii, a new chapter for my beloved readers!!!

I know I wrote it but it's so angsty even I can't haha. 

I hope you guys enjoy it!

Please vote and comment.

Cherry. xxx