Dirty Little Secret

Shaking and Fear

Nicolas' POV

I feel my body being jostled, the feeling of movement distant as my mind tries to clear the fog around it, the taste of Wolfsbane on my lips, the car ride gone from my mind.

My body shakes and my breathing quickens, my eyes finally pulling against the weights sitting on them, opening to leg in some of my surroundings.

My body is being held to a woman's chest, her breasts pressing against my side, arms beneath my legs and back. My head is hanging back ag an uncomfortable angle, but it allows me
to get a look at where I am.

My eyes blink as it takes in trees among trees, an unfamiliar stretch of forrest surrounding us as a woman, probably Shannon, carries me to Goddess knows where.

'Oh, Goddess.' I whimper in panic, my limbs and body too heavy to life, Wolfsbane still dancing inside my system. Without even the possibly of running away, I start to spiral, anxiety building in my throat but before I can, someone stops me.

'It's okay.' Benny tries to soothe me, his soft voice in wavering as he comforts me.

'Clary, Jace...' My mind attempts to continue to spiral, but Benny pressed his conscious against mine softly, his support making the weight on my shoulders not seem so heavy.

'They're going to save us. Stay calm. We'll get through this.' He tells me and I take a deep shaking breath before nodding to myself, my heart hammering as my body get carried further into the woods.

After another few minutes of walking, we stop, and my nose picks up the smell of food and warmth, my stomach growling at the smell.

I hear a door being pulled open, and soon enough, I'm being carried through a doorway and into the house until I'm brought into a small bedroom where I'm finally put down. My head gets set on some pillows, and my eyes dear around, taking in the rustic wood walls, the knitted rug on the floor, and the handmade quilt thrown across the foot of the bed.

And also laying there are thick metal shackles that get clamped around my right ankle, my body still too heavy to resist.

With tears in my eyes I turn my head to find my mo- my kidnapper,Shannon, the woman that raised me, standing at the side of the bed, Nathan no where to be seen. I watch with pain and anger, my heart breaking into a million pieces as my whole world falls apart.

No wonder I felt like I was so different.

I am.

I don't say anything as Shannon looks at me, turning my attention away from her to stare at the wall, knowing if I looked her in her eyes I would either cry or scream and she doesn't get either from me. She took everything from me, and now she doesn't get anything.

"Nicky, I know you're upset, but when you're older, with kids of your own, you'll understand. You'll come around, and when you do we can get there shackles right off." She tells me, and my lip curls. How is it, that she still believes that she's doing the right thing? How is it, that she convinced herself that she did the right thing after she took a baby and effected so many lives.

How could this be my mother?

"I hate you. I won't ever understand what you did, because you kidnapped a child from a family!" I tell her, my voice raising, but she doesn't react, placing her hand on my leg in a comforting manner but all it does it make me shiver and whine, wishing that I was far away from her crutches.

"You'll learn to love me again. You'll learn to accept things and be happy like I did." She says, giving me a living smile before patting my leg and getting up.

I glare at her with a blurry vision as she walks away, the whoosh of my door being widened doesn't register as I turn away from the sound and towards the window, my chest aching as I mourn Clary and pray for Jace.

I curl up slightly, pulling my knees to my chest as I think about growing up, all the memories of my parents and siblings. Birthdays, Christmas, Mating Day, all of these things every year, I spent it with the wrong family. Every year, my family wrongly mourned me while I lived ignorant just twenty minutes away. I feel my chest squeeze as I realize just how much of my life I missed, the wrong people sitting around the table and holding me until I fall asleep.

'No. No matter what, blood or not, they were still your family, outside of Shannon. They all cared and loved you. That's what makes a family.' Benny tells me and I think about those memories too.

Of Jace laying down beside me, his hands on my face as he looked into my eyes. Of Clary coming to sit in my room to help me study, both of them standing up for me no matter what. Even Dad holding mom back when she would get scary. Those aren't moments that you can fake. Those bonds are real.

I remember Dad sitting me down one day when I was younger, and talking to me about the importance and purpose of a pack.

"We all work together to survive, grow and love. We thrive as a pack, which is only like having a huge extended family. And family takes care of each other. We babysit, we fight for each other, we protect each other, and most of all, we love each other. That is what family is regardless of the blood in our veins." He had told me, the memory distant, but the lesson that confused me before made panic loosen its grip on me as I came to a realization.

I have not one family, but two.

And for my sake, I hope one of them shows up soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~
Is this mostly a fuller chapter? Yes, but that's okay lol. This book will be the next one completed. It has about 15 chapters left guys I'm so excited.

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Comments?

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