oh god there's over 40 of you now

3

To be honest, Tartaglia hadn't intended to lose so horribly to Scaramouche and getting the air knocked out of his lungs. Really, he expected to last longer than a split 0.5 seconds after gutting the guy, heck, maybe even win.

Apparently Scaramouche woke up one day and decided that he must stay superior to Tartaglia and ended up beating him faster than expected.

Tartaglia pondered this as he walked back to his classroom. Signora would get a kick out of this when she inevitably hears about it from Scaramouche, and if he tells it to his new friends in the Hydro dorms, Xingqiu and Mona would tease him to no end. Fucking assholes. All of them.

Somehow Tartaglia was so lost in thought that he didn't hear footsteps approaching him quickly. Or rather, he can hear them, but his brain didn't register the sound until a hand was suddenly on his shoulder.

"Pardon me, but are you Tartaglia?"

Tartaglia's instincts and reflex made him whirl around and assuming a defensive position.

Oh, it's a Council of Seven member. Signora had somehow acquired the files of all of the Council of Seven members, the overall student-ruling body of the school. From the looks of it, the one in front of him is Zhongli, the head of the Geo dorms, what with those bright golden eyes and dark, possibly really silky hair that fades into a shade of orange that fits with his overall aesthetic. Good god, even his clothes look expensive! Even if it's just a standard office-worker outfit...

Speaking of, his outfit consists of a dark brown button up with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and even darker pants and shoes. The shirt had faint designs on it near the hem, and a gold diamond-shaped pendant rests at the collar.

If Tartaglia were to guess, he'd say those clothes were made with the most expensive fabrics ever.

Zhongli was staring at him confusedly, flipping through a notebook of some sort. His eyes flit back and forth between the notebook and the man in front of him. "I'm sorry, but you are Tartaglia, correct?" He asked the currently spaced out ginger, who snaps out of his stupor with that question.

If any of the former Fatui members see him just now, he doesn't care. He makes a split decision to sprint the fuck out of there, which surprises Zhongli and prompts him to dash after him. Tartaglia makes it just barely around the corner before he feels a whole body on top of him oh fuck—

And his face meets the floor as do the rest of his body. He hears Zhongli mutter many apologies and asking if he's alright before he was dragged to his feet and taken to the nurse's office.

Now he's in the detention hall after being examined by Barbara and Dr. Baizhu, glancing at the clock impatiently waiting for his next class to start. He had typed a word of distress to the Fatui chat, which soon became Tartaglia and Scaramouche yelling at each other and the rest of them bullying him. How nice of them.

Tartaglia, after Scaramouche decided to stop damaging his pride, thought back to the encounter from earlier because after that, there was no way he was gonna focus on anything for the rest of the period.

Zhongli...that guy is part of the Council of Seven, and Tartaglia is a bit pissed because does the council literally only accept people this pretty? He's actually seen the Electro leader a few times since transferring here, and many people agree she is beautiful. Venti, the Anemo leader, is a literal definition of the words "pretty boy", with a femininely shaped face and those braids at the front which definitely must have confused many new students when they first set their eyes on him. Even Signora is saying her dorm leader is one of the fairest.

Ah. He went on a mental tangent again. What the hell...

Before he knew it, the bell rang, shaking Tartaglia out of his thoughts. He sighs, turns off his phone, grabs his stuff, and heads out the door.

——

Wednesday, 4:18 PM

we will set everything on fire

the kitchen
Guys I need help

the cremator
IM UP WHATS UP

the lawyer
Does it concern Wanmin Restaurant again?

the kitchen
Yep!

the bomber
I'm here what's the issue

the kitchen
The restaurant just received a shipment of frozen meat and for some reason the chicken is stuck together in the box so HELP
We gotta break it up!!
Operation defeat the zombie chicken!

the cremator
ZOMBIE CHICKEN
IM IN
I NEED TO STOP ITS SPREAD

the lawyer
I'm pretty sure that's just the size of the chicken, Hu Tao

the cremator
oh

the pyrotechnician
Are we gonna burn it or...?

the kitchen
nope!! just defrosting

the rockstar
so we just combine all our body heat into the chicken?

the kitchen
we CAN do that...

the lawyer
wait but then we'd just be hugging the chicken
that's unsanitary as hell i hope you know that

the cremator
I MEAN...
we can TRY?

the kitchen
are you sure you want to hug what is potentially triple your body weight and what could possibly contain deadly diseases which can only be killed by cooking it?

the cremator
so does that mean we die?
in that case, why don't i try to negotiate with you?

the pyrotechnician
the fact that hu tao's always ready to bury her friends...

the kitchen
if you want to hug it then you don't get to do business with anyone at all yknow
and you haven't even inherited the funeral home from your dad how are you this motivated to bury someone.

the cremator
HEY i gotta get ready for my future job!

the lawyer
Hu Tao i can't keep bailing you out like this

the kitchen
WE ARE DIGRESSING PLEASE
CHICKEN FIRST, BURIAL LATER

the cremator
SO WE ARE BURYING IT

the lawyer
i won't even try to correct you...

——

Wednesday, 5:03 PM

we will set everything on fire

the rockstar
AAAAAAAAAA

the pyrotechnician
there was,,,
SO much chicken

the kitchen
Thanks for the help you guys!!
It certainly went better than the last time you guys helped

the bomber
the last time we helped klee was with us and nearly blew up the entire kitchen because she misunderstood our task
thank god xiangling salvaged it that time

the cremator
only three pieces went flying this time and it hit nobody!
that's great!

the pyrotechnician
i don't think you were supposed to throw the chicken

the cremator
Anything is a weapon if you throw it hard enough, Yoimiya.
ANYTHING.

the pyrotechnician
Hu Tao, you kinda scare me

——

Thursday, 10 PM

be crime do gay

Zhongli
Pardon me, everyone, but does anyone know why the air smells like raw chicken?

Yoimiya
PLease no mORE CHickEN

Hu Tao
Yoimiya fuckin broke