"Come here," his voice is gentle again.
She gives in, placing her small hand in his. Lifting the cloth, he sees her blood spill out from her palm. He inhales sharply through his teeth and presses the rag back down. They sit there like that for abo...
"No. No. This was another friend. No. He was a few years older than me and we worked together a lot. I loved him, I think I loved him. I know he loved me. But he's gone. I don't know where he went. He's gone. He's, I don't know. Maybe he's dead, who fucking knows? Maybe he just disappeared or went home. Sometimes people just disappear around here, you know?"
"Would you have sex with women or only with men?"
"I mean, I've had sex with both. I like both, I'm okay with both. I guess I'm bi like that, but I like men."
"Did you hustle both?"
"Yeah, occasionally. I mean, usually it was johns. Girls weren't as much, but sometimes some older ones would come around. I liked that because I knew what to expect and it was nicer. Slower. If I needed to get away, I could."
"How do you decide how much to ask for?" Jude continues.
"I mean, you just learn. There are some kids out there who start so low because they don't even know and then some of us will kinda tell them what to ask for. Sometimes you can tell if a john will give you more. If he's really nervous, you know, if it's his first time then you can usually get more."
"Has it ever been bad? I mean, has a john ever hurt you?"
"Yeah. I mean, we've all had that happen a few times. Usually you go by your gut, whether it's a good idea to do a job. But there was one time where I was hurt pretty bad. He didn't listen to me and he didn't like me telling him what was okay."
Keanu glances at Jude and sees a shimmer in his eye that is quickly hidden behind his sunglasses. He knows what this means, Jude is living it. He is picturing what Shane had gone through that day.
"How, um. I'm sorry man, I'm sorry. Do you want me to stop?" Jude's voice is lower, quieter. He feels an urgency to stop and continue at the same time.
Jude clears his voice and continues. "How bad was it? How hurt were you?"
"I mean, it was bad. He punched me a few times, put his hand on my throat and then I kinda just relaxed, and let it be over, you know...."
Shane continues to talk but Jude freezes in his seat. Shane's voice seemed to fade into the background as Jude's vision blurs a bit. He feels empty. The air is suddenly humid and the ground wet from a fresh rain. He finds himself in a dark alley behind a dumpster, his back against a brick wall. Jude can both see Shane against the wall and feel the scrapes on his own skin, the pounding of the back of his head, the throbbing of his split lip and the grip of some man's grimy fingers against his neck. He is watching it and experiencing it as Shane's continues to talk. Shane's eyes focused on the sky above or anywhere beyond what was happening to him. Jude can feel the hot stench of the man's breath against his own face, the loss of control as the man overpowered him as Shane describes that sometimes it was easier to just try not to get hurt more than he had to.
Behind the dark shades, Jude blinks back tears and rubs his hands against his jeans in a frantic pattern, trying to erase the sweat from his palms. Keanu stops eating his eggs and stares intently at his friend. He was in it. Jude is enveloped by his characters. They both do this, but Jude could slide so deep in a way very few Keanu had ever met could do. Jude feels things as though they were happening to him, and his strong affective memory meant he would relive them time and time again like a movie replaying in his head. This is more intense than Keanu has seen before, and it doesn't feel right, it was too much. He goes against what he knows Jude would want and he puts his hand on Jude's shoulder and squeezes. There is no response. Keanu squeezes again, harder this time, his knuckles turning white and his fingernails bending back against Jude's corduroy jacket. This time, Jude jerks and looks at his friend, first with confusion, then irritation, but eventually, resignation. Jude makes a deep sniffing noise and wipes his nose with the back of his hand before clearing his voice again. His whole body shakes as though he has the chills. Hopping up, he grabs his shoes and thanks Shane for answering his questions.
"Alright, we goin'?" He looks to Auggie, who also stands and grabs his keys and jacket.
Keanu picks up his dishes and stacks them with the rest. He places them into the stainless steel sink and thanks Mindy for the food before picking up his jacket to join everyone else. The four of them, Auggie, Keanu, Jude and Shane, pile into Auggie's silver Jeep Wrangler as they head downtown.
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