Same As It Never Was (BNHA/Naruto x Reader)

Bonus 3 + A/N

Sakura: The hospital called. Your test results came back positive.

Kakashi:

Sakura: Positive for being terminally whipped.

~*~*~

(Team 7 in jail, then Kakashi and (Y/n) barges into their cell)

(Y/n): Sorry it took us a while to bail you guys out.

Naruto: No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have wasted our one phone call to prank call the police.

~*~*~

Sasuke: I live in fear that someone will kidnap my teammate, Naruto Uzumaki, who lives at 309-1095 Asakusa penthouse, Iitakacho Mori, Musutafu City, Tokyo. His bedroom is at the second door to the left; keeps the door unlocked. You can't miss it.

~*~*~

Kakashi: I'm pretty good at turning every place I go into my personal hell.

~*~*~

Naruto: Nee-chan, I can't be held responsible for the things that come out of my mouth.

(Y/n): Explain.

Naruto: I'm not held responsible for that.

~*~*~

(Literally with any of her love interests.)

(Y/n): I'm gonna make him pay for this.

(Y/n): He may be physically stronger than me, but I know a lot of ways to destroy men emotionally.

~*~*~

Sasuke: Uh yeah, full offense to philosophers or whatever, but if I were to embark on a journey of revenge, I would simply not dig two graves.

Naruto: I think I wouldn't mind being laid in the same grave as my enemy's if it had to come to that 'ttebayo.

Kakashi: Getting laid in your enemy's grave?? That's some freak shit but honestly I kinda dig it.

Naruto: Well, yeah you dig it. That's how you make graves.

(Y/n): I worry for all of you.

Sakura: We all need therapy.

~*~*~

Eri: (Y/n)-nee?

(Y/n): Yes, Eri-chan? Do you need something?

Eri: Some kids were picking on me earlier and I told Sasuke-nii.

(Y/n): Go on...

Eri: He left, and I'm worried that he's going to beat them up or something. Can you go stop him?

(Y/n): Sasuke won't hit a child.

Eri: He won't?

(Y/n): Never.