Snapshots

An ADHD Kind of Day

6:30 alarm. 7:00 alarm. 7:30 alarm. 7:45 alarm. 8:00 alarm. Fumble for glasses. Find a pair of jeans. Put a jacket over the shirt I slept in so it looks less like a shirt I slept in. Grab two socks, unmatching. Slide them on my feet. Phone, purse, shoes. Open the door. Where's my phone? On the ground next to where my shoes were. Grab it. Pat it in my hand just to be certain that it's there. Where's my purse? Slap my side. Feel it hanging on my shoulder, right where it should be. Rush to the car. Locked. Dammit. Forgot the keys. Run back inside, grab my keys, run outside, make sure I still have my phone with me, yes, I do, unlock the car, start it, wait for the engine to warm, finally pull out of the driveway and head to work. Halfway to work: I didn't take my Adderall. Can't turn around and grab it. Don't even have enough time to grab coffee as a substitute. Have to power through without it. Why do I do this to myself? Clock in at the print shop. 8:20, but it's okay because my manager is used to my habitual tardiness. Take my seat at the front desk. Check the office email. Reply to a customer asking about the design fee for business cards. Answer a phone call. Take a pen and a Post-It note to write down a message for the office manager, Theresa. Hang up. Realize that I only wrote Theresa – Carla wants to know and then doodled a ladybug instead of writing the rest of the message. Can't remember it. Get a new Post-It note and write that Theresa needs to call Carla about a poster. Stick the note on her office door. Look at the old note. Smile at the little ladybug. Maybe I should draw another one. Draw a second ladybug. Give him a top hat and a cane. Add a butterfly with a tiara and a purse. Ahem. Look up. See that guy who ordered some pamphlets for his dental office. Sorry. Find the pamphlets. Give them to him. Process his payment. Remember to ask him to sign the receipt just before he walks out the door. Answer another phone call. Yes, we're open. Reply to more emails. Chat with Megan, one of the print workers. Check my phone. Yikes, I have three minutes. Clock out. Rush to class. Arrive just in time, but out of breath. Try to listen. Try to take notes. Keep thinking about how much homework I have. Keep staring at the patterns in the ceiling tiles. Focus. Stare hard at the PowerPoint. Forget what was just said. Group activity. Something about a project coming up. Wait, I missed it! Class dismissed. Didn't take a single note. Ask the professor about the project. Told to look at the syllabus. Write a reminder in my phone. Know I'll forget anyway. Next class. Forgot to do the reading. Please, don't let there be a quiz. Handed a quiz. Claw through my brain to search for answers. Bullshit my way through as well as I can. Turn in the quiz. At least I tried. Know I could have tried harder. Try to concentrate. Wonder if I'll remember to check the syllabus when I get home. Tap the eraser of my pencil to keep my hands busy. Wonder how a mechanical pencil works. Don't remember what was said. Asked a question. Bullshit an answer that somehow works. Listen to others' answers to get an idea of what was discussed. Realize I accidentally pushed out the stick of lead from my pencil from tapping it so much. Remove the eraser. Put the lead back in. Look inside to see if I can figure out how a mechanical pencil works. Hear the assigned pages for the next reading. Try to write them down only to find that my pencil doesn't work. Remember I removed the top when I was trying to figure out how mechanical pencils work. Put the pencil back together. Don't remember the page numbers. This is why you pay attention! Ask the guy next to me. Write them down. Class dismissed. No notes except for the page numbers. Guess I'll figure it out when I do the reading. Know I'll probably forget to do the reading. Tell myself to read before my next class. Bathroom break. Get distracted on my phone. Next class. Didn't get to read. Turn in a paper I'm proud of. Handed back the test I took last class period. 105%. Smile. Take out my notebook. Copy down the first slide. Think of an idea for my next paper. Write it down. Remember there was something I needed to remember. Panic because I can't remember what it was. Write a list of all upcoming assignments to see if it helps me remember. Realize I missed two slides. Asked a question. Relieved that I know the answer. Return to note-taking. Listen to another student's answer. Think of a comment. Blurt it out. Stop midsentence to apologize for interrupting. Bite my lip as I wait to be called on. Worry that I'll forget what I wanted to say. Deliver my idea successfully. Hold back five more that pop into my head at once. Remember that I needed to remember to check the syllabus for that project when I get home. Write it down. Hope I'll actually remember. Class dismissed. Remember I haven't eaten all day. Hurry home. Can't decide what I want for dinner. Settle on spaghetti. Watch my favorite TV show while I eat. Clean up. Remember all the other chores that need doing. Clean the litterbox. Take out the trash. Fold my laundry. Remember I have that list of homework. Try to decide what to do first. Finally get started on something. Can't concentrate because I have a song stuck in my head. Try singing the song out loud. Helps some. Manage to finish after two hours. Remember I never did figure out how a mechanical pencil works. Decide to give myself a break by Googling it. Satisfied with the answer. Think of something else to Google. Catch myself after an uncertain amount of time and get back to work. Say hi to mom when she gets home. Talk with her for a bit. No, a long time. Too long. Get in the shower. Brush my teeth. Feed the cat supper. Wonder if I should stay up late to study. Decide not to since I have to get up early for class. Crawl in bed. Scroll through Instagram. Check the time. 11:30. Put my phone away. Turn on my side and get comfy. Forgot to check the syllabus.