Her Golden Soul

Chapter 19

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Sara's POV.

My bare feet felt the dew of the early morning as I walked on the grass and cold tingles ran up my nerves. A pleasant breeze wafted and flowers were strewn. The faced towards the rising sun, its golden rays has been giving me hope to live.

I took a step forward to have a peaceful walk only to acknowledge that my peace is found in the home where several children's innocent soul reside. The cries of a seven-month-baby made me recognize where my peace is to be found. I entered the noisy house however my peace lives in the same noisy home. I went to my small cozy room, picked up the small baby boy from his baby bed as he was crying.

Smiling at him I slightly punched his red cheeks and smelled his butt. He had definitely posoped so I had to help him change his diaper as he was too small to do it himself. Once I was done cleaning my hands, I descended downstairs towards the dining table where several children were waiting for their breakfast, all of them dressed to go to school except from Kyler, Jennifer and the baby boy I was carrying, Kai.

I greeted all of them and went towards the kitchen to help the nuns set the table. I also managed to make baby food for Kai before we all the had a share of the luscious breakfast consisting of waffles, pancakes, ceral and drinks. After all of us were done having breakfast, I had to drop most children who weren't in high school to the bus station.

Some of them bid me a goodbye while the others bid me a goodbye kiss. As I was walking back home my mind automatically opened a window of thoughts and escaped into a different world. A world which was less of actions and full of various feelings, unanswered questions and fear of...

"Beep!" I was thrown back to the reality where I was standing in the middle of the road but on the zebra crossing, however, the passenger traffic light was red. This means it was my fault, "hey you, if you want to die go die somewhere else but not in front of my car," the person who previously honked shouted.

I apologised the person and immediately crossed the road because it was clear. When I felt my heart drain out of soul I wanted death to wash over me because it sounded more promising that it would give my emotions and fears a wave of tranquility, nevertheless, God sent something good on my way; he sent this children who needed more love and support just as much as I needed, (lucky them they had nuns to love and support them), also the nuns are too old to run behind this active children so they needed someone who could help them.

I gave all of them my love and support and in return I too got shelter, food, love and support, I know this makes me a selfish person who doesn't deserve their love for me.

After what happened three months ago, this children are my hope to live. I know many people don't find reasons to live they just live but for me wherever I go I try to find a reason to live otherwise I will die internally thinking what to do next. Father has always given me a chance to become a nun nonetheless, that is not easy for me when I have to live knowing the crimes I have done.

I shut the window of my thoughts and entered the children's home where I have been staying for the past three months. I did not even sit down and I heard a screeching scream followed by a baby cry. I shook my head and smiled to myself before rushing to the room across the hallway.

I saw Jennifer covered in red paint while Kyler was holding an empty plastic tin which definitely contained the red paint previously.
Kai was in his walker crying because Jennifer screamed loudly.
This are the situation I have been handling for the three months, though they are funny and lively.
I picked up Kai so that he could feel comfortable and safe later I stood between a laughing Kyler and an angry Jennifer.

Jennifer was to run towards Kyler to hit him when I caught her by thin arms. "Can we talk," I ordered both of them. We all sat down on the pink and blue carpet in a circle as Kai on my lap. Kai had calm down when gave him a car toy to play with, nevertheless, what interested him was my ponytailed hair so he threw away the toy and started playing with my hair.

In Kyler's case I ended up making Kyler apologize to Jennifer and at last they became friends again. This are the happy cases I have been dealing with but there also some sad cases I deal with; they mostly concern their family and bullies. The best part is that no one in this home encourages bullies and they all have each other's back.

Later on, I gave Kai a bath and dressed him up for the day since we were to go to the park along with Kyler and Jennifer. Kai is a cute baby boy who was left at the door of the children's home one month ago with his name attached on the basket; he then got more attached to me than the others.

Once I was done helping the nuns, Kyler, Jennifer, Kai and I went to the park. Kyler and Jennifer immediately went to play with the kids who were playing various games while Kai and I sat on a bench. I gave Kai his favorite car toy as he sat on my lap. Some while later Kai threw the toy away and started playing with my hair.

He would occasionally pull it, bring it near his face or try entangle in his small fingers. I looked around to take in my surroundings, what caught my attention was the same boy I saw four months ago. He was sitting alone and he looked at me. I carried Kai and walked upto the boy. Taking a sit next him I greeted him. He did not greet me instead he asked me a question which I was unable to answer. "Why did you save me?"

"I don't know why I saved you but I felt the need to save you," I answered. "How is she?" his question had nothing but suspense.

"I DON'T KNOW."

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