How To Tame A Demon

Chapter 54 (PT. 2)

CONFESSION

. . .

Avery's POV

"Is... is there still a chance... for me?"

Saglit akong natigilan dahil sa sinabi ni Harry at nanlalaki ang mga matang napalingon sa kanya.

"H-ha?"

"I said... is there still a chance for me to be in part of here?" muling pag-uulit nito habang nakatingin ng diretso sa aking mga mata. Bahagya naman akong napahinto sa paggalaw nang itutok nito sa tapat ng aking puso ang kanyang hintuturo.

Muli kong ibinalik ang tingin ko sa mga mata niya at tiningnan kung may halong pagbibiro ba ang sinasabi nito ngunit wala.

Hindi agad ako nakasagot sa tanong nito at napatikom ng bibig. Umiwas ako ng tingin dito at tumingala sa kalangitan.

He's not kidding anymore.

He is serious.

Tanging ang malakas na kabog lamang ng aking puso ang nadidinig ko sa oras na iyon. Kabog na hindi dahil sa saya... kundi dahil sa takot.

Takot na baka sakaling sa oras na sabihin ko sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko, tuluyan na itong lumayo sa akin. Takot na baka sa oras na hindi nito magustuhan ang sasabihin ko, baka tuluyan na akong iwan nito.

I'm already scared with a lot of things in this world.

But I'm more scared if I lose another friend again by my side.

Hindi ko na kayang mawalan pa ng bagong kaibigan. I already learned from my experience that having a friend is the most precious thing you could ever had especially if you're that kind of a person who never experienced or felt the love of a family.

I admit that I'm happy from what I have already in my life. An incomplete but happy family, not that rich but have enough resources for our own needs.

And then my friends.

I remembered when I was a kid, I heard from a stranger that you don't need to have friends or someone to be with you because there's a big possibility that you won't get to see them anyway as you grow older.

But what's wrong with having those while you're still living as a kid?

Napaka-importante sa akin ng lahat ng mga naging kaibigan ko. Knowing that I was opened and known to everyone as a gay, napakasakit makitang nilalayuan ka ng mga tao dahil ikaw ay kakaiba.

But everything changed until I met my first ever friend, Travis.

Hindi niyo naman siguro ako masisisi kung bakit ang sama na lamang ng loob ko sa kanya nung bigla na lamang niya akong iwan sa kawalan ano?

And now, Harry's here.

This is the first time a man confessed his feelings for me. And I'm afraid to consider that this will also be the first time I'm going to reject someone.

Harry is a very nice friend. And I can't bear to hurt him because I can't stand to be the one who might become the reason why he would suddenly change his life.

I... I can't answer him.

Pero kakalimutan ko nalang ba ang nararamdaman ko para kay Travis?

Tila nanuyo ang lalamunan ko at nanginginig na dinama ang malamig na simoy ng hangin.

"I..."

"... I'm sorry."

Binalot ng katahimikan ang buong paligid matapos kong bigkasin ang katagang iyon. Naghintay ako ng ilang segundo upang pakinggan ang kanyang sasabihin sa akin subalit nang wala akong makuhang kahit isang tugon ay napadilat ako ng mga mata.