𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫 {𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐭 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫}

thirty eight: the counting to ten over and over again

Y/N's POV:

I think the Doctor is the first person I have ever come across that wasn't afraid of me. And if I'm being totally honest, it was a breath of fresh air. Sure, people being scared of me didn't really bother me much as I don't really care for people, but it was honestly refreshing to have someone recognise me and not immediately aim their gun at me or demand something from me that put them at an advantage.

It was just...nice.

But as the woman continued to speak, I became more and more confused.

"You worked for Wicked?" Thomas asked the woman, totally shocked after she had just revealed her previous occupancy there.

"Long time ago." She replied, as she seemed to look over the memories not so fondly. I figured that must explain it then, that's how she knew me. And then she confirmed it, as she turned to me saying, "That's where we first met, you know." She stood slowly from Brenda's side as she moved over to the table covered in equipment.

"And then after I left, we met again, four years later." She spoke softly, as her hand drifted over to where a huge stack of needles where placed. She turned back around slowly, as she descended her way back down to where Brenda laid unconscious.

Jorge was here with us too - he refused to leave her side once since she was carried away.

"The last time I saw you was about two years ago. That was when we lost a lot of men, but they didn't die in vain. They died protecting us, and that is heroic if you ask me." I furrowed my brows, repeating her words over and over in my head.

Jorge's head whipped towards me, shooting me a frightened look. I swallowed hard, as I realised that Jorge's army may have not been the only search and destroy mission I was involved in.

The thought of it made my heart wrench. How could I do that? And at such a young age? As I find more and more out about myself, the more I realise how sick Wicked are for making a young girl do those sorts of things.

Kill.

"But it didn't matter. As Wicked came back. And still have to this day." She shrugged so nonchalantly at her words. But I think they were what scared me most; it was clear that Wicked would never give up.

"So, Wicked wipe out armies against theirs, and scoop up the immune to help find the cure." She continued, but if anything, her constant speaking was just making me feel sick. I felt as if vomit was about to erupt from my throat at any minute; I have to get out of this tent.

Before anything else was said, I needed to leave.

I stood abruptly, surprising the others at how pale I must have looked before murmuring, "I have to go."

I heard Thomas call out after me as I ran out of the door, but couldn't recall what he said as the pounding in my ears got so loud, I thought I might go deaf.

I didn't even look back as I dashed over a hill, towards the edge of a cliff that looked out of the way so that no one would think to look for me here.

And that's where I stayed, panting heavily and shaking, as I knew that if I stayed in that tent a minute longer, the Doctor would say something revealing, and I'd be done for.

--

After about twenty minutes or so, my breathing steadied and my ears stopped ringing. I sat on the edge of a large rock, jiggling my leg up and down as if I was nervous, although I didn't feel like I should be. I had no reason to feel anxious, but here I was, counting to ten in my head over and over again.

I don't know why I did that, but I seemed to do it when stress would flood into my system and I felt like I was about to be sick everywhere; and eventually it would work.

I no longer felt on the verge of puking up what little food I had in my stomach, and my hands stopped shaking. I took it as a good sign.

I looked out over the edge, mostly just seeing desert hills and empty roads. No people in sight. It was peaceful, really. I actually enjoyed being alone for a little while, it was calming.

But of course, that didn't last long, as a voice perked up from behind me, snapping me out of the daydream I was currently immersed in.

"I've been looking for you."

I knew who it was immediately.

It was Newt, as I turned my head slowly to watch him approach with a smile. Although I knew he was never particularly happy, he always seemed to be grinning around me; it was nice, actually.

"Well, you found me." I said coyly, as he plonked himself down next to me. I kept my eye line forward, not meeting his gaze even though I could feel his eyes watching my every move.

He didn't say anything for a while, and as I got sick of him just staring at me not saying a word, I decided to break the silence. "So, what is it? Why were you looking for me?" I finally turned my head towards him, and he was looking at me with a large grin.

Even though I tried to suppress it, I couldn't help but return the smile. He got up slowly off the rock, putting his hands in his trouser pockets as he stood still on the edge of the cliff, watching the view.

He sighed heavily, before saying with his back to me, "I came up here to ask you something, but now it feels void." My eyebrows knitted together in confusion as I stood slowly and walked over to stand next to him.

"What is it?" I asked quietly, dreading the thought of him asking something like 'did you work for Wicked?' I know he wouldn't just come out and ask that, but the guilt of lying was gnawing its way at me so much that the possibility of it seemed to be one of the very few things I could think of.

He turned his head back to me slowly again, and as his eyes met mine his grin seemed to widen. "It doesn't matter." His smile reached his eyes, and even though I wanted to press on and ask him what it was, I also didn't want to ruin whatever this moment was.

I was about to say something along the lines of 'okay', before he cut me off. "Did I tell you that you always seemed so familiar? I'm pretty sure I did, but I just wanted to check." I tilted my head to the side, trying to recall our previous conversations, but the memory came back to me almost instantly.

How could I forget him outlining the very way I felt?

"Yes, you did. And I said I felt the same, remember?" He chuckled slightly, and that's when I realised how close we were standing. So close even, that I could feel his short outward of breath when he laughed.

I watched as his eyes dropped to my lips, as I struggled to stop myself from doing the same. "Yeah, I was just checking that you remembered." He said, but he didn't give me a second to respond, as he pressed his lips against mine.

I was so shocked that it took me a second to realise what was going on, but as I zoned back into reality, I instantly reciprocated the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt some sort of eruption go off in my abdomen, and my entire body felt lighter.

He pulled me desperately close to him as I could feel him deepening the kiss with every second, wrapping his hands around my waist as he did so to push me up against the nearby wall. His lips were warm and comforting, and I felt as if I never wanted this moment to end, but of course, it did.

Just as I had granted his tongue access to my mouth, an earth shockingly loud explosion went off in the distance.

The sudden impact made us both stop in our tracks and pull away from each other, completely stunned about what was going on. But neither of us said a thing as we looked back at each other in fear, still incredibly close and intertwined, as Newt grabbed my hand and pulled me up the hill to find the source of the noise. 

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A/N: surprise shawtyyyyy ;p ik you've all been waiting for this one :)