𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒. SAN

22 : i hate you

" I HATE YOU "

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Remember when Jiseol said she felt like time passed by so smoothly? Yeah, never mind that. Those three months waiting for San passed by with much difficulty. Jiseol could barely bring herself to do anything but sleep and lay in bed for hours. She usually liked training but during those months, it felt way too draining. Nonetheless, she had to push herself if she wanted to continue doing well as an assassin.

The boys found it concerning and did everything they can to make her feel somewhat better yet no matter how much they'd try and push her to say something, silence would just eat them up as she doesn't even spare them a glance. It was as if they weren't even there in the first place. Their only interaction in the past three months was during training and other important talks. Other than that, dead air. No words exchanged.

The thought of San's body being lifeless ate Jiseol alive. It was haunting her. As if the nightmares that disturbed her sleep every night weren't enough, her creative mind inevitably created scenarios of how San could be at the moment. Wether if he's still alive of not.

She felt like a zombie. Not alive but somewhat still functioning. Each day felt way more pressuring and suffocating as time went by, her only motivation being that specific crescent moon where she would go back to the bridge and see if San was still alive.

After what felt like years and years of waiting, a crescent moon brightly glowed in the dark sky, waiting to be the light once again in Jiseol and San's relationship. As usual, she laid in bed as she waited for the boys to head to their respective rooms. Tonight is when she finds out if he's alive or not. She didn't know what to exactly feel; happy? But what if he really is gone? Sad? But today is when she finds out. Excited? There's nothing to be excited about if she goes there only to see no one.

When she heard the last and final door close, she instantly rose from her lying position and fixed herself up a bit. Only then she had noticed the huge difference in her facade from three months ago. She indeed looked dead; messy hair, sickly pale skin, sunken eyes, dry lips and gaunter than ever. It looked like all blood was drained from her body. She finished making herself look more decent and with color before going through the oh-so familiar secret passages she hasn't gone through in three months.

San, on the other hand, had gotten back roughly two weeks ago and was on a break for a week. He is still recovering from minor injuries, which he was lucky enough that they weren't that serious, the most being his sprained ankle that would take another few weeks to fully heal.

The moment he stepped foot back in the palace, his friends welcomed him as if it was his birthday. What was weird to him was that the king and queen didn't bother greeting him neither saying anything to him while the princess shot him a few dirty looks that was supposed to be subtle but we all know everyone saw. He didn't mind though, she's always been like that to everyone (especially her brother, Yeosang) who are not her parents or the villagers (whom she shows a perfect, kind facade for them to like her).

When Jiseol got the slightest glimpse of San's messy black mullet, she ran to him and tackled him into a hug, pushing the both of them down onto the ground. Tears escaped her eyes once again, this time out of joy.

The lad smiled weakly, even he was getting teary eyed. "Hello, my love."

Her grip then got tighter. "Ahh, my sweet, you're squeezing me. Loosen up a bit please?"

Jiseol didn't want to, she was scared he might slip away from her again. But if she wanted San to not pass out from oxygen loss, she had to loosen it up. She took his face in her hands, noticing a few cuts. She stared at him for a while as if she couldn't believe he was right in front of her again.

"I hate you." The lass utters in a broken voice.

"I'm back!" He responds with a smile but she only sobs louder. "Oh no, why are you crying? I'm back, no need to cry. I'm so sorry for leaving you like that, I never wanted to leave you. I thought about you every second I was there which gave me strength to fight back and come back home to you."

It was quiet for a while, only the sounds of crickets, the stream, and Jiseol trying to swallow her wails were heard. "Look at me."

And so she does before San sat them both up and wiped off her tears with his thumbs, kissing her cheeks afterwards.

"You look so adorable! But you lost your cute cheeks, you haven't been eating and sleeping well?"

Jiseol shakes her head.

"I'm sorry I caused you discomfort but I'm here now and I won't go away again. Promise me to eat and sleep well from now on, okay?" He kissed her left temple, sticking out his pinky which she responds to by wrapping hers around his.

Ever since she was young, Jiseol hated it when people talked to her like a baby. So why did it feel weirdly comforting and reassuring when San was the one doing it? Nonetheless, words could not express how happy she was to be seeing him again, alive and well besides the ankle sprain.

Once again, she wraps her arms around his body, still tight but not as tight as earlier. Jiseol fixated her gaze on him shamelessly, he glistened under the moonlight as he took in the environment he hasn't been to in months.

When he noticed she was being quieter than usual, he looked down to see her already staring back at him. San smiled before asking why.

"Nothing." But in reality, it was because Jiseol couldn't believe he was there with her again. For once, the universe was on her side and didn't take someone she loves.

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