He looked so innocent reading his book, almost peaceful. I stopped in the frame, admiring his face. His brows were pulled together in a concentrated manner. His jaw was defined, leading up to his musculine body. I couldn't take my eyes from him unti...
"What do you think about it?", he murmured. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What did I think about it? Mmhh, I still couldn't even get over the fact how his sexy, dark voice sounded while reading it. How should I then come up with a suitable interpretation right away?
"It's quite sad, isn't it?", he asked when I don't reply.
I thought about it for a moment..but..sad?
"I don't think so.. it has something rather..not positive but..it hides a crucial reminder for people to reflect on their thinking, which I find quite...optimistic?", I answered, still unsure about what to say.
In this moment, I could have kicked myself. Why couldn't I just agree with him?
Professor Cullen looked at me as if he was taken aback by my answer.
"But don't you think that 'gold' could stand for the good? So 'nothing good can stay' like nature's first green. Isn't that a sad statement?", he countered.
There was something in the way he said it, like he crowded me into a corner on purpose, making me spill out the truth of what was going on in my head right now. And it worked.
I replied right away:" Only partly. I mean, yes, gold could stand for good. But first of all, why is only the first green gold? Is what follows of no good? Because I wouldn't say so. There are other colours and other ways to find the 'gold'. And secondly, gold things will return as the examples in Frost's poem show. It is just not permanent. But isn't that what beauty is all about? It must not stay because there is beauty in other things as well and the first beauty is not lost forever. Sometimes it only lasts for a couple of moments but all it takes is patience to experience it all over again..So for me, this poem reminds me to be in the moment more, because there's so much beauty everywhere that is simply waiting to be seen."
For a few moments there was total silence. I couldn't bring up the courage to look into his eyes. But then he softly took my chin again into his hand and lifted it up so that I had to look at him. His eyes were full of emotions but I couldn't figure out which there were exactly. I only knew that I couldn't look away. He had captivated me, his movement so unexpected. I felt the sparks of having been lovely surprised in my entire body, wishing for more. His thumb started slowly to dance over my cheek as he just looked at me. I didn't know what was going on in that mind of his, but his eyes indicated a powerful depth. I wanted to get to know the ocean. I wanted to know where it began and where it ended. I wanted to learn about its power and its weakness. I longed to control it with just a single touch, longed to fill it into a bottle that I was able to carry with me everywhere. I wanted to understand the mystery that was sitting across from me. Then he finally opened his mouth and said:
"How could you every think that we are not on the same level. God..you are...", he shook his head lightly and closed his eyes.
My heart was beating so fast in that moment. I slightly leaned into his hand, looked at him and whispered:
"What?"
He looked at me with an almost painful expression and when he answered me so quietly I could barely hear it, my heart skipped a beat:
"Perfect."
But then, all of a sudden, our little moment was being interrupted when some students passed our small corner and settled in the study room next to us. We both snapped out and realised that we were not alone. I almost started to panic because, shit! , this definitely wasn't appropriate considering we were a professor and a student. He quickly pulled his hand back and seemed shocked as well. Then, when we looked at each other we both, at the same time, said:
"I'm sorry."
His features softened again and he slowly said: "There's nothing you need to be sorry for." After a moment he added: "I think we should call it a day. We can continue next time."
Next time. Yes, I would meet him again. I sighed and he looked at me questioningly. But I just shook my head and stood up. He soon followed my movement and we walked to the elevator in silence. It felt strange, like we were leaving together, when in reality we were just walking next to each other and not with each other, leaving in different directions. However, the moment the doors closed I could feel the air thicken. The air was hot and steamy. The sudden tension between us was almost to much to bear. There wasn't even any stupid elevator music, just a sharp silence making my mind wander into an inappropriate direction. I wanted to kiss him so badly, it was unreal. I was his in that moment. He could have done anything with me, if he had wanted to. However, he remained on his spot next to me, not moving once. His hands were almost fists and I wondered, if he felt it too.
Finally we had reached the main floor and the doors opened. There was nobody anymore. I exhaled deeply and walked out when I noticed that he remained in the elevator. As my eyes met his he explained:"I still have some work in my office, after that I'll leave. Have a nice evening, Miss White".
I nodded. "Have a nice evening, Professor Cullen", I replied and turned around. But before I could make another step away from him, I turned to him again.
"There's nothing you need to be sorry for either.", I almost whispered. I wanted him to know that I did not find his touch or words offensive. I enjoyed it. I wanted more, way more.
His eyes burned into mine and captured me with such a force that it took my breath away. He stepped out of the elevator, took my face with both of his large hands and with a last look in my eyes, he leaned down to plant a kiss on my cheek before settling one on my forehead where he stayed for a few seconds. He took a deep breath in and let go of me on his exhale.
"I should go. Please take care of yourself. It's already dark outside.", he stated while walking back into the elevator. The doors immediately closed and with that, I was left alone with a racing heart and a racing mind.
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-------------------------------------- And that's chapter 10! I hope you like it :) I am trying to upload regularly. Btw the interpretation of the poem is just one way to see it, so other opinions are of course valid. Feel free to comment or vote ;)
