I stared blankly at my mom who's sitting on my bed
"Who's Jennie sweetheart?" Mom asked calmly
"I-I" my throat feels like it's closing up making me unable to speak
"Come sit" mom ordered more than asked and patted the bed in the space next to her
I did as she said sitting down next to her. Looking at the diary I could see what page she was on, the day Jennie asked me to be her girlfriend
"Sweetheart are you gay?" My mom questioned looking into my eyes. Suddenly I just started sobbing, she wrapped her arm around me saying
"It's going to be okay"
I pulled away slightly shocked at what she'd said
"Y-You don't mind?" I asked sniffing slightly
"Not at all, you'll get over this girl. It's fine that you wanted to experiment" mom said looking at me like she believed the words she is saying
"What do you mean 'I'll get over this girl?' she's my girlfriend!" I shouted
"Well you aren't gay it's just social media brainwashing you, any way you'll find the right man someday" she replied
A wave of anger and shock washed over me, how could she say that?
"That's not true! I love her!" I protested
Wait for what? Did I just say I love her? Even though it's completely the wrong moment I couldn't help but nearly smile at the thought
I love Jennie, I just hope she loves me
"You think you love her but you don't! This Jennie girl is just a phase and we'll get you through it" mom said going back to her reassuring voice from shouting
"You don't get it! I've known that I've liked girls since I was eleven and it hasn't gone away five years later!"
She looked disappointed like it was all my fucking fault that I'm gay!
"I won't tell your dad for now" mom replied ignoring what I'd been saying. She closed the diary and got up walking out of the room with it held in her arms
I slammed my door shut causing my only picture on the wall to shake. It's a picture from my holiday a few years ago, with my parents, brother and myself
We all looked so happy smiling as nothing could ever go wrong, I grabbed the picture of the wall shoving it into a draw so I could no longer see their faces
Diving into my bed I engulfed myself in the blanket wanting nothing more but today to be over. My eyes soon drifted into a restless sleep
Waking up the next morning I feel like a zombie, I'm in a state where I feel like I haven't slept at all but know I have
Getting changed I put on my uncomfortable school uniform
Breakfast was awkward with my dad needing to get to work and my mom just talking about her clients even though it's supposed to be confidential
I'm surprised she thinks that homosexuality is a phase when she's a therapist for mainly mental health
Doesn't she know what she's doing could impact us in the future?
I'm walking to school with my brother today because we wanted to get there early so we can both get some books out in the library
"Are you okay?" He looked at me sincerely
"I'm fine" it was a curt answer but I wanted nothing more than to talk about it
"When you're ready please actually tell me what's going on" he replied seeing past my terrible facade
"Okay"
The school was going by too fast, it's already nearly lunch. I looked at the clock to see if that would trick me into the day being slower but instead, the hands looked like they were speeding through the numbers
Almost like it couldn't wait for the day to be over and start afresh
"Lisa Manoban is there any reason you're still here?" Miss Jones asked in her frail old voice
I looked up at her not realizing that I'd already wasted ten minutes of lunch
"Oh" I signed picking up my pens and books quickly shoving them in my bag
"I didn't realize you liked maths so much" she joked but sneered at me as I hurried to leave
"Sorry miss Jones, bye"
"What took you so long?" Somi asked looking slightly panicked
"I was daydreaming" I lied not wanting to tell them about all the scenarios I'd made up that are racing through my head for when I get home
"Okay, anyway Somi are you going to rehearsals for the play after school?" Tzuyu questioned
"Yeah and Lisa I can't wait for you to see the characters were playing!" Somi shrieked with glee
I looked at her trying to smile at least a little bit but I felt sick with dread
"Do you know where Jennie is?" I wondered
"I think she's at cheer practice or maybe by the bleachers with her friends" Somi contemplated shrugged slightly
I doubted that she was at cheer practice considering her arm so, I decided to go for the football field where the bleachers are
My head feels like it's spinning as I walk towards the football field
I need to tell Jennie about what's happened, as I walked closer to her my breathing seems more shallow and my throat dry
"Jennie" I called
"What's wrong?" Jennie looked at me straight away mumbling something to her friends
We walked behind the bleachers and went to a spot where no one would hear us
"So what's up"
"M-My mom found my diary," I said sobbing
"You have a diary?" Jennie replied deciding to focus on that of my sentence
She seemed to quickly understand why I was so hysterical pulling me into a hug
"Do you write everything in that diary?" she asked
"Only when I feel overwhelmed or when something significant has happened, like getting my first girlfriend..." I trailed off feeling a hot blush rise to my cheeks
"What did your mom say? Have you told anyone else?" Jennie questioned in a hurry
"She said that it was a phase, that it was fine to experiment, and that I'll find the right man someday. She made it all seem to like it's my fault! Like I can change it!" I could feel myself getting angry and looked away
"Hey babe hey look at me," Jennie said comfortingly I turned my head slightly back to her, she delicately caressed my face saying
"You need to calm down, everything will be okay"
"How can I calm down when my parents think that my brother is just confused and that I'm going through a phase? I hate the word it's so annoying" I mumbled
Jennie lightly kissed me on my forehead holding me into her embrace
"Can I go to your house after school? I'm dreading going home" I felt a little guilty for asking but I just can't go home
YOU ARE READING
My Cheerleader
Fanfiction(story adaptation) Lisa is gay and has a massive crush on a cheerleader at her school. A cheerleader who is supposed to be 'Straight'. But as the school year, progressives so does Lisa's confusion about Jennie. Maybe Jennie isn't as straight as she...
