Fool Me Once (Book Two) - Fred Weasley

Broken

GEORGES POV

It has now been just over three months since Aaliyah left us. Its the sixteenth of October and she left us on the sixth of July. Well left Fred. But if I'm being completely honest she left us all.

Nobody knows where she went. She left, leaving a letter, divorce papers and her wedding and engagement rings in the hospital room. She just left, no word or warning to Fred when they were talking. He still refuses to tell us what happened that day in the hospital room. He wont tell us what they talked about, he just wont. I think its because he wants to keep it a secret really, keep their last encounter and interaction sacred to just him. 

Fred hasn't been coping very well. He has spent the last three months working through the first few stages of grief. First, he spent about a week denying the fact that she left him. He would return to just outside the hospital every day at the same time she left hoping that she would return to him. But she never did. That was hard for Fred, even though he has all of us living in the house, its as though he feels the house is empty without Aaliyah in it. 

After the first week he moved on to what was probably the worst stage of grief for him so far. Guilt. He blamed himself for weeks. The second week after she left he drank himself into oblivion every night. He spend nights crying because he thought it was his fault. He believed that if he was a better husband, a better father, a better man, she wouldnt have left him. He blamed himself for encouraging her to get the job in the first place. 

One thing he never done however was let Eden and Elsie see him drunk. He only drank at nights and ensured that he was sober at all times when he was with them. He never even let them see him cry. I think he believes that they deserve one parent that is well put together. One parent that wont fall apart on them and abandon them. Fred spent a lot of time working on the guilt stage. I think he still carries guilt with him every day. He just shows it a lot less these days. The hardest part of this for him was blaming the fact that Eden and Elsie lost their mother on himself. I think deep down he knows its not his fault, but its easier to blame himself and drink away the pain, than it is to blame Aaliyah who isnt even here. 

Fred then spent a lot of time on the anger stage of grief. This stage however came hand in hand with his guilt stage. He was angry at himself for Aaliyah leaving. One thing I admired about Fred through this whole thing is that he never blamed Aaliyah, never got mad at her, never actually gave up on the idea that she might come home to him and their girls some day. He really is something else, and he might just be the stongest man that I know if Im being honest. 

Depression was a hard stage for Fred. Sadly for Fred depression came hand in hand with him taking up the use of cocaine again. Ive never seen him so out of control and so in control of his addiction. Again it was night times when he would get drunk and take drugs. He never allowed it to even be spoken about around his girls. He knew that during the day the girls needed him and he done everything in his power to stay strong and to stay sober for them during teh day. 

And he did, he cared about, and still does care about them two little girls more than anything else in the world. He does everything with them, he eats with them, brings them to work with him, he even set up high chairs behind the counter in work so they can be with him when hes on the till as well as setting up two cots for them to sleep in when they have to take their naps. And he brings them for walks to the river ever morning. They still love to look at the ducks and I think its good for Fred to get out every day and clear his head, no matter what the weather is hes down at the river at nine in the morning with his girls. 

Ive noticed in the last few days that Fred seems to be doing a little bit better. He is drinking less and his cocaine use, while it hasnt stopped as calmed down significantly. He does seem a small bit brighter but that might be helped by the fact that both of his girls now call him 'dada'. Its cute if Im being honest when he walks into the room after leaving to use the toilet or to smoke a cigarette and there are two little hyper girls sitting in high chairs shouting 'dada dada' for all the world to hear. 

Like just this morning, I was sitting in the living room with the girls, watching some muggle cartoons, while Fred went to go get dressed so they could take their walk by the river. I had decided to join the three of them for their walk this morning seeing as myself and Lee got into a bit of an argument when he woke up.

'Fred you almost ready, these two are going nuts' I called up the stairs and was met with a chuckle from Fred as he made his way down. 'Im coming muffins dont worry' he laughed as he walked into the room ony to be greeted by two screeching little girls shouting for their 'dada'. 

'Thats cute' I told Fred as he went and gave the two of them a kiss on their head before checking that their straps were on tight enough. 'Yeah, yeah. It is I suppose' he said with a huge proud grin on his face. 

'You know I dont blame her Georgie' he said to me as we walked along the banks of the river. I see why he wanted to do this every morning, it was quiet save for the birds chirping, and the sun when it shone on the water made it look like a huge sheet of glass. I really do get why this is now his escape. It really is easy to loose yourself somewhere like this. 

'Dont blame who?' I asked, not really paying attention to the conversation and more destracted by the way that the trees were swaying in teh wind and the birds were slowly flying across the sky. 

'Aaliyah. I dont blame her for leaving us' he said as he stopped at a bench, just in front of a  huge gathering of ducks so that both he could smoke a cigarette and the girls could look at their favourite animals. 

'Quack quack' Eden gasped and Fred chuckled. 'Yes muffin. That is a quack quack' he told her before she went bacl to babbling with her older sister. 

'I really dont Georgie. I know you might not believe me, but I dont blame her' he said as he took a drag of the cigarette and looked out into the water. 

'I know you dont. But you shouldnt blame yourself' I told him and he turned in his seat to look at me. 'I dont blame myself either' he said and I looked at him in shock. 

'I think at some point I realised that she had to leave us. She doesnt remember a lot. And Im kind of invested in the fact that even though she doesnt want me to wait for her, she knows thet I still will. And if Im being completely honest Georgie, I know she has gone to try and get her memories back' he said, stopping to take a drag of his cigarette but I cut him off before he could continue. 

'How do you know that Fred?' I asked him and he sighed, looking from the girls who were mesmerised by the 'quack quacks' to the river where the ducks were swimming and finally back to me. 

'I dont know how I know George. I just, its almost like I can feel the fact that shes gone to try it. I know she is coming back to us, no matter what happens, I know Aaliyah would never abandon me, or her girls. And the fact that even with her memories gone, she recognised that they were in fact her kids is even a start. I dont really know for certain Georgie that thats what shes gone to do, but I am damn sure of it'