Painfully Reserved (Life Goes On)

Chapter One: The Begining

Chapter 1: First Day

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Do you ever feel like this isn't the way your life is supposed to go...

Like you’re not really living at all? Like you’re just going through the motions of this so called life of yours… Well… That’s my life, everyday single day.

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I pulled up into a parking space at the school, I slowly turned the key to cut the engine, my heart was pounding… this was my first day of real high school. I'm a senior this year and I have been homeschooled my whole life by my mother. But when we moved, it was decided, for me to go to public school for my last year. I didn't know what to expect, I just sat there and stared at the school, it was huge, but it only held around seven thousand students, it was a private school, the public one I was supposed to go to was over filled so I had to come here to a more... Well... upper class, private school. Luckily I managed to get a Scholarship to go here otherwise we never would have been able to afford it. I continued to stare at the school, watching everyone walk by my car and entering inside the doors. My right hand was clutched to the steering wheel, and the other was on the door handle, I was so torn between turning the car back on and driving away and stay homeschooled or to step out and find out what will come to be.

My door opened and I stepped out, my heart was racing, I was more nervous then scared. I was worried, what if I don't find any friends? What if I can't open up to anybody just like always? What would be the point in walking in if it is going to be like that? But... Those were only 'what if's' I will never know unless I try. I got up to the doors, paused then took a big breath in as I opened the doors.

The halls were packed with people, students… I have to go to the office but I have no idea which way to go, and my mind just went blank, I couldn’t think, everything seemed but a blur...

I stood on my toes and stretched as high as I could to try and peer over the crowd, but I'm way too short to do so. I could ask someone but I'm not sure if I want to or not... when I look over at someone to ask the either ignore me or give me a look that I’m not too fond of, a look that says ‘Ya got to be kidding?’

Just then the bell rang and finely the halls started to thin as kids headed for classes, luckily I don't have first period today since it's my first day, I started a week late because of the move, we had to have time to get moved in before we were able to find this school.

I started to walk the halls looking for the office... After a little while I finely found it and opened the door... There was a small older lady sitting at a desk that looked a little bit big for her, her chair sat low and the chary wood desk sat too high, it looked odd.

She looked up at me with her light green eyes and smiled "Well hello there. My name is Ms. Sims. How may I help you?"

I smiled back to her, this part I was good at, talking to adults with a fake smile and being respectful with every word. I think that's why adults tend to like me more. It's the other people my age I have problems talking to. I took a step forward

"Hi. My name's Ayrabella. I'm new here and I was told to come here to get my map and class schedule" she smiled again and then nodded

"Ah yes... Ms. Ayrabella Kyra Von is it? I have everything you'll need right here"

She grabbed a binder and some books then gestured for me to sit down so I did.

"Okay... This is your map of the school here's the first floor... And here's the second... The highlighted rooms are your classes and each room is numbered, then here’s all of your class times..." after awhile she finely got done explaining everything to me then sent me on my way.