My Life Is A Bigger Mess Now

Part Three - Big News

So, we're homeowners now. We officially bought ourselves, me and Anna, a home in the Lake District, just outside of Keswick. It's everything I want from a house. It's in a quiet area, but close enough to a town that I can just nip there and get stuff from a grocery shop or takeaway. It's a lovely, rustic home. It's got a stone exterior with a really nice, spacious garden and plenty of room to park too. Inside is just as good, but some of the wallpaper, I will admit, needs changing. They're an... interesting floral pattern. I'm more of a plain colour or subtle pattern wallpaper guy really. Anna agrees with me too, thankfully.

So, yeah, there'll be some work to be done on it but for the most part – like 99% - it's all done. I still can't fully wrap my head around it if I'm being honest. We've bought a house together. There's no rent, it's ours. Blows my mind a little.

But before we move, there's a few more big things I have to deal with. Most notable is probably the fact that Anna might be pregnant.

Yeah.

To celebrate getting the house, last week, we got quite drunk – like Patrick's wedding drunk – and when we're both that far gone... things happen. Good things – very good things – but we don't always think them through. I'm sure most of you get where I'm going with this. For those of you who don't you're probably a little young for me to explicitly tell you. So, let's keep it PG and say that I may have forgotten a certain important element in stopping the baby making process – okay this is so much weirder than if I just say it.

I didn't have a condom on me but we still had sex.

Now, that's a bit of a problem in of itself but plenty of people do that so it's okay, right? Sure. But I'm not exactly known for my fast reaction times. So, I think whilst celebrating our next big step as a couple – in buying a house together – we accidentally took an even bigger step as a couple.

This wouldn't be a problem usually. I'm 25. All my life, I've wanted to have kids between 25 and 30, so this kinda works really well according to that plan. However, since Patrick's wedding, I've realised that I don't think I'm quite there yet. Yes, I'm 25 but I still feel like an 18-year-old most of the time. I think I'm only just about ready to move in with my girlfriend. I am pretty damn sure I'm not ready to become a dad.

Since we left college 7 years ago... Wow, I can't believe it's been 7 years. Anyway, since we left 7 years ago, we've always had a thing that brings us back together: College Gang Meetings. If one of us is having a problem, they'll text or call everyone else and we'll either come round to their house or we'll do a group call and discuss the issue. It's a great way for us to keep in touch and discuss our biggest problems, and a welcome distraction for those with tough jobs like Patrick (who works in a hospital, pretty much 24/7).

It was time. I needed to call a College Gang Meeting. I had a very big problem and I needed my oldest friends' advice on the situation, because I didn't know what to do. If Anna was pregnant, I wanted her to tell me. But, at the same time, not knowing was hell. It's like the biggest, most nerve-racking cliff-hanger ever. It's like Infinity War. You don't know what's coming next, and that's very scary. Also, I get Infinity War was an odd choice to compare my potentially pregnant girlfriend too but I'm running with it.

"Sam? What'd you want? It's like 4am here. I have a meeting in 4 hours." I forgot Eddy was in Australia this week. "I'm calling a meeting now. It's important."

"Dude. So is my 8am one." As much as he might be right, I needed my friends. "You can't just give me some quick advice? Say hi to the others?" I heard him sigh over the phone. "Not really, Sam. I'm shattered."

"Okay. Well, once you've had that meeting, message me or call me because this is potentially the biggest news any of us have ever had." I waited for a response but all I could hear was some snoring distorted by the phone. "Good luck, mate." I hung up. Eddy was out. Time to check on the others.

"Patrick! Hey, hey, are you free for a meeting right now?"

"Sure. It's like 7:30. I've got some time." I smiled. One down, one to go.

"Liv? Liv, hey. Are you free for a group meeting?" There was a pause before she responded. "Now? Sam, I can't. I've got some final things to plan. It's four days until I get married." I sighed. We used to be so close. I know that's part of growing up; you grow up and you slowly grow apart from some of your friends, but I really didn't think it'd happen with me and Olivia. We were so close until maybe a year ago. Then I started working on my new show and she got engaged. We just don't have much time for each other now, I guess. "Okay, it's nothing big. Don't worry about it." I hung up and had a similar feeling to the one I had when she rejected me. I wasn't too fussed by it but I was a little disappointed.

Me and Patrick then. The dynamic duo. El classico. The terrible twosome. I called him back. "Hey, Sam."

"Hey Paddy, it's just us." I couldn't see him and he didn't say anything but I couldn't help but feel like he was disappointed like I was. "It's all good though. You get the big exclusive." He chuckled.

"Okay, so what's going on? We don't usually have meetings unless someone's getting married or died or something like that."

"I think you'd class this as something like that. It'll probably be its own reason to have meetings though, really. I mean, it definitely should be--"

"You're stalling." He was right. I had a lot of nervous energy in me. I was, and still am, really nervous about becoming a dad.

"I think Anna's pregnant." There it was. That was the first time I said her and pregnant in the same sentence and it finally dawned on me that this could be real. "She... wow, she might be pregnant." I slowly followed up with, letting my realisation of the news be known. "Oh damn." Patrick sounded just as shocked as me. "You're gonna be a dad?"

"Maybe. I think so."

"Are you gonna propose to her? Or are you guys not doing the whole marriage thing?" I didn't know. Like I said, I love her and I love her more than anything but marriage is a big step. It's a big commitment. I'm not completely sure I'm ready. I don't know if Anna wants that either. She might not. What if she doesn't even want a kid? I'll admit, I have a bit of a messy life but this has got to be my biggest mess yet. I accidentally got my girlfriend pregnant. "Should I propose?" I finally responded.

"I would. It feels right, if you ask me." He sounded more like he was asking a question then but he had a point. I love Anna. We're moving in together. We might be having a kid. We might as well get married too?