Picking Up The Pieces

39. Beyond rock bottom

Maddie's POV

I'm jostled awake as Elias abruptly sits up next to me.

I rub my eyes and flick on the bedside lamp to see him sitting on the edge of the bed, his eyes squeezed shut and pulling at his hair.

"Hey..." I whisper as I slide over the bed to sit next to him so I can rub his back. "You're alright."

Elias takes a shaky breath, his bottom lip trembling.

"She's gone," he sobs. "She can't be! She's never been to college, she's never been to Paris! She always wanted to go to Paris...S-she hasn't even gone to prom yet!"

He gets up and slams his fists against the wall before sliding to the ground, crying while hugging his knees.

I get up, my throat burning from holding back my tears, and sit next to him and pull him into my arms.

Crying and sobbing, he holds onto me as if letting go would mean he lost me too.

I remember myself being exactly like this when I lost my parents which is why I know that there's nothing I could say now that would make him feel better.

"It should have been me," he hiccups in between sobs.

I scratch his neck, whispering, "Don't say that. You know it's not your fault."

Elias is quiet for a moment before saying, "But it hurts so much..."

I gulp and squeeze him in my arms. "I know."

Then I force him to take steady breaths with me. At first it's hard for him to concentrate, but after a few minutes he seems to calm down because he loosens his iron grip on me.

"Will it ever stop?" he asks, his voice groggy.

"Hurting?" I ask softly as I continue scratching the nape of his neck. "No...but you'll learn how to deal with it."

Silence.

We sit on the ground for what feels like half an eternity, until...

"You should go back to bed."

"You should, too," I shoot back, getting up.

Elias eyes me with his red puffy eyes for a moment. Then he gets up and says, "I'm just going to get a drink first."

He leaves and returns with two water bottles a minute later.

His hair is all over the place and his shirt is a darker shade of grey where his tears landed.

Handing me one of the bottles, he slowly slips under the covers again.

"Here," he croaks.

I take the bottle from him even though I didn't ask for it and take a sip before putting it on the nightstand.

Elias takes a sip himself and turns off the light.

We get settled in, him holding me close again, but just as I'm about to fall asleep he taps my shoulder.

"Hmm?" I say without opening my eyes.

He sighs and whispers. "Never mind."