Picking Up The Pieces

38. Gone

Elias uses his free hand to wipe away the tears on his face. "The doctors- they overlooked an aneurysm in her brain," he stammers. "It burst and- and they had to perform surgery on her...but it w-was too l-late."

"No..." I whimper, tears burning in my eyes.

I didn't know April that well, but she was always so sweet and I know, even though Elias would never admit it, how much she meant to him.

She was bubbly and kind and thoughtful, a little like Hailey, and you just couldn't help but like her the moment you met her.

"She's gone," Elias sobs as he squeezes his eyes shut.

I let the tears fall down my face and get up, pulling Elias to his feet too.

He's surprised for a moment, but then, when I pull him in for a hug he relaxes, letting himself cry again.

His sobs cause the sting I felt when I found out about my parents' deaths to return.

I almost forgot how it felt to lose a loved one, and even though April wasn't my sister, it still hurts to know she's in heaven now.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper after some time, feeling his hot breath on my neck.

"I love you..."

I freeze as the words register in my brain.

"I l-love you too," I say truthfully. I've loved him since the night he found me on the floor of my apartment. I've just not realized it until he just said those three words.

"Come on, let's go inside. You're freezing and you need to take a shower," I say, breaking our hug.

"Okay..."

I take Elias hand and lead him inside, the news of April's passing weighing heavily on me.

Inside, in Elias' room I hand him a stack of clothes. "Here, put these on after you shower and then come downstairs, I'll make us some lunch."

I turn to leave, but Elias grabs my wrist, stopping me in my tracks.

"Thank you," he mumbles, his tired and red eyes fixed on me.

I brush some stray hairs out of his face and say, "Of course... now go shower."

I wait outside the bathroom until I hear the shower running before going downstairs.

On my way to the kitchen I come across a picture that causes me to tear up again.

It's the selfie April took of herself, Chris, Elias and me when we went to the fair.

We're all smiling and holding up hotdogs. Chris is sticking out his tongue and Elias is giving me bunny ears.

I smile, remembering how much fun that night was until I look at April again.

She's actually gone.

I can't believe the last thing she saw of me was me giving Elias hell for paying Bri.

Shaking my head and taking one last look at the picture, I go to the kitchen where I decided on making a quick vegetable stir fry.

By the time I'm done cooking, Elias shuffles into the kitchen, wearing the loose jeans and white sweatshirt I picked out for him earlier.

He looks way better now that he's showered and shaved, but the frown from earlier and the dark circles under his eyes are still present on his face.

"Here, eat this," I order as I slide a bowl of the stir fry in front of him.

He thanks me for cooking before digging in, eating quickly.

I take a seat next to him at the counter, but by the time I'm only halfway done with my portion, he's already done.

He waits for me to finish before picking up the dishes and putting them in the dishwasher.

"How are your parents?" I ask once we're cuddled up on the couch.

Elias sighs and stops running his hand over my back for a second. "I don't know and I don't care... all I know is that my dad is suing the hospital for overlooking the aneurysm in April's brain."

"That's not going to bring her back," I mumble to myself.

Elias nods and sniffles. "I know, and he knows it, too. I think he's doing it to keep himself busy."

Even though I lost my parents I can't imagine what it must be like to lose your kid, so I'm not judging him for what he's doing.

Everyone has different ways of coping with the death of a loved one.

Elias and I stay on the couch for the rest of the evening, finding comfort in each other's company.

Then, when it's time to go to bed, Elias hesitates.

"I- I can't sleep," he admits. "I get nightmares..."

"Since when?" I ask softly sitting down on the edge of the bed, now wearing some of Elias' comfortable clothes.

"Well, they started occurring when I came back from Afghanistan and then- after seeing a- a therapist, they slowly stopped, but since April...since she-" he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment, "They started occurring again two days ago."

I take his hands and pull him onto the bed next to me. "Let's just cuddle and talk and maybe you'll fall asleep then."

"Okay."

We slip under the covers and turn off the light, our breathing being the only sound in the room for a few minutes until Elias says, "I totally forgot about Thanksgiving this year."

"Me too," I admit. "But it's just a holiday."

"Yeah..."

It doesn't take long after that for both Elias and me to fall asleep with a heavy heart.