'where we are now' remus lupin & regulus black

We're not just friends

I hold Lily's stare for a moment, then it clicks. My cheeks warm up in a fiery blush, "Oh! What? No, Lily! It's not-we're not-" I cut myself and sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. Incessant rambling.

Cordelia and I are just friends.

In the most complicated sense of the word.

And Sirius still means the world to me, as much as I hate to admit it. If I were a raindrop he would be the cloud. He's had my heart since we were children, but exploring this relationship is something I have to do for myself, for me.

I mean all my life i've been worrying about him, worrying about his well-being, but while I was out saving his emotions, was he out for me? No, no he wasn't, and Cordelia is the first step into that reality. She's proof that someone can truly care for my feelings, and even understand them.

"Calm down," She chuckles. "It was just an idea,"

I could ask Cordelia to come by the dorm. I do still have her potions homework to do...

"Maybe I should ask her," I mutter. Nothing explicit will happen anyways, i'm not nearly as bold without alcohol in my system.

Lily pats me on the shoulder, exactly like James when he gives his words of encouragement. "Go ahead, I'll cover for you," I look at her unsurely. "We should be leaving in a few minutes anyways, I promise I've got your back," Lily winks.

"Thanks," I say as I stand up. The best and worst thing about being in gryffindor is how easy it is to slip through the cracks. If you aren't vocal enough, you're simply forgotten. Out of sight, out of mind. This however, tends to work in my favour when I need to get away.

I cross the hall of people beginning to exit their seats. Knee-high black socks. I catch myself staring at Cordelia's legs and avert my gaze. A hot blush rising to my cheeks.

Just my luck, Cordelia spots me. She whispers something quick into Iris' ear and waves goodbye. Amos grabs Cordelia by the hand and furrows his brows as he looks down at her. Amos' gaze flickers from Cordelia to me, and I offer and tight lipped smile and wave.

He does nothing but nod in my direction and walk away with Iris.

Cordelia approaches and i'm hit with the scents of french vanilla coffee and cigarettes.  "How are we feeling today Remmy?" She asks.

Have her lips always been so full?

"Hm? Uh, good." I look at her and nod awkwardly.

"You don't seem good," She deadpans. "Why are you acting so off?"

"I'm not, I just wanted to see if you'd like to hang out back at my dorm with me?"

Cordelia inhales sharply. Switches her weight from her right foot to her left. "Like, alone?" She breathes. And that's it. Something shifts in the air. A thick blanket of tension placed meticulously over our heads.

Why does she do this to me?

I try my best to keep my eyes foreword, but I have to glance at her socks again. "Yes, but just to study, y'know?" I meet her gaze again.

She shakes her head as she chuckles, my favourite habit of hers. "Of course, what else for?" She motions towards the door, "Lead the way,"