Ajeeb

Cruise Control

I noticed just like me she didn't pray on Fridays. We had two hours to kill and I had a stash of beer hidden in my trunk. The ring road was empty and it was the perfect time to get to know someone.

"You do this often?" She asked.

"Day-drinking?"

"..with people from work..."

"No, I make a special exception for those who just joined." She smiled.

We had been driving for some time now and she seemed to enjoy my taste in music, soft beats of Celeno surrounded the car when I asked. "Are you seeing someone?"

"Are you?" Touche... Okay, I guess I'll go first.

"I just broke up with my girlfriend." She didn't look even remotely interested... "She was 3 years older than me & not gonna lie. It's been rough."

"three years... really?" She looked surprised. "Usually when guys say older it's just by a year. Ummm... you must be way cooler than I thought you were."

"Ok now your turn, So like... Are you seeing anyone?"

She grimaced at that, like it was a tired question — she'd been asked one too many times, "I mean I meet a guy and then it just kind of gravitates towards friendship. Things never seem to work out romantically — not that I mind. But... ya'know it gets kind of repetitive." What an honest answer I thought and I realized this might work out even better for me. Come to think of it, I would want to keep her as a friend.

"Well, I can't helping thinking what's their loss is my gain." at that she laughed. I felt happy making her laugh, she truly had the most beautiful smile. "You have the most gorgeous smile." and in a classic move her eyes rolled & looked down as she said thankyou. I never knew how sweet and shy someone could simultaneously look while accepting a compliment.

We lulled ourselves to the sounds of Kronyo when she said, "You know I would've never spoken to you if I hadn't seen your tattoos..." and by then even I had enough alcohol in my system to admit to her. "Well... I kind of figured that out the first two weeks... so I kind of deliberately planned it in a way that you'd see them & get curious enough to talk to me."

Her eyes popped out in shock! "You asshole" she smiled while saying it and seeing that expression cross her face was worth being smacked on the arm for. I responded with a low laugh.

"Are you serious? Are you fucking serious?... this is not fair."

"Hey, you can't blame a guy for trying..." she looked away when I said that but didn't stop smiling.

"So what's the youngest you've ever dated?" 'Dated' in my head was a broad term defined currently as hooking up & the youngest I'd ever hooked up with was 21 so, "21"

"Oh...umm. How old are you?"

I held my breath and put on my best poker face as I answered, "How old do you think I look?"

She turned her head to the side and squinted her eyes to indicate how deeply she pondered the question, "um...30." I just flashed her a side smile in response.

"Show me your ID Card."

"Ok. I'm 35."

"Damn... so a 14 year age difference do you any good?"

"I mean I can't complain for when they're in bed but then they wake up & I can't give any less of a fuck about what website they use to order Sephora, or who's dating their best friend and how it's affecting them. In fact, you're the most self aware 24 year old I've ever met..."

She didn't take that as a compliment and I noted that down for future reference. — Rania didn't care for compliments when they were given in comparison. but I did, I loved being better than everyone compared to me. "Why is that? Like my friends thought you looked like a blond?"

"I mean... How can I know why people think the way they do?"

"No but like how are you so mature?"

"My sister is more than a decade older than me & my parents passed away when I was really young. So..."

I felt like I should sympathize with her, "Oh, I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be. I've had a really happy childhood."

I stayed quiet for some time and watched her enjoy the music. Our beers were almost finished and I needed to reach the office by 4 to interview Aiza's replacement. I was driving back through Model Town when she said, "I need to use the restroom."

"I need to get back to the office asap. Is it okay if I ask you to hold it in?"

Her eyes became playful, "It depends. How much you like these seat covers?"

I couldn't stop smiling. Any other girl would've thrown a temper tantrum and this one couldn't help but flip everything over its head. I was done for and I didn't even know it. Not yet. "Ok I'll stop."

She wasn't done with me, she moved closer to me and held my arm from my favorite spot. While looking at me with those almond shaped eyes of hers, it was as if she instinctively knew exactly what to do, "Are we really gonna grab nothing to eat?"

When all I wanted to do was grab her to eat — I was too drunk to fight whatever was happening below my stomach, "Well, of course we are if you say it like that." and with the blink of an eye I saw those almonds turn into diamonds.

I had some time to think while she was using the loo, realizing that I can't get away with this. I don't think I'll be able to get away with doing this. Not this time. If there's ever a gut feeling, if there ever is anything — it told me to stop and step back. I asked it where would I go, every thought I had was blocked by Risham's memory. That's when I looked towards the girl walking towards the car and thought, 'The only way is forward.' I smiled as she sat back down and I noticed she un-hesitantly gave a beggar change from her wallet. She always seemed to have a lot of it to give. I got an unsettling feeling that she might not go through with this, that there was no way this was happening — that I couldn't get away with not telling her that I was married because we worked at the same place. I became flooded with guilt mixed with fear and just as I was about to break it to her she stuffed some fries into my mouth. While my mind was chewing over all this information my mouth became busy, 'I'll live to see another day I thought.' mostly because I was really enjoying her feeding me.

We reached back soon enough & I realized, I was high enough in the hierarchy that I didn't have hell to face for being late. 'Maybe I was too uptight.' I couldn't really focus on the interview while she sat across from me & I had the most perfect view of that delectable side angle. I excused myself from this tedious process early, it was a zoom call and after hearing a no from me, HR could handle the rest. The only yes worth hearing felt like it would come from her, in bed. But before any of that... I had to come clean. Telling someone the truth was not something I was used to doing, or even something I had ever even done before. But this, her — I felt like I wanted more of, like I couldn't get enough of. So I naturally insisted that she let me drop her home today. Where I would attempt to seamlessly weave in the truth about my life, a truth I couldn't get away with hiding.

"Are you religious?" I asked. It was important for me to know as I was hoping she was not.

"I'm spiritual. My relationship with God is very personal and it's the only thing I feel very private about."

& while I pondered over her answer she asked... "What about you?"

"Well I feel exactly the same way. I have never before met anyone who felt exactly the same way as me about this." As a slow sweet smile came across her lips, mine began to weaver & I knew right then that this would be close to impossible. Unlike other challenges this one was too close to home. It was my workplace of seven years to which I had given my all. This wasn't going to be anything like Risham, she could easily hide the fact that she fornicated with a patient. How could I convince her to keep her cool while we were? The strength with which my anxiety kicked in at that thought surprised even me. Luckily it happened right as I parked across her driveway and as she got out to leave, I called her back and said, "If you're free this weekend, I'd like to see you.." She smiled her signature smile before saying, "lunchtime this coming Monday." I couldn't really argue with that, regardless I knew I'd be seeing her then too.