A Wolf's Tear

thirteen - words

“The truth is, Selena. I look at you and I hate myself. With you, my virtues are my vices and my vices grow brighter because I know I can never be the man I want to be for you.”

Selena wanted to laugh. To cry, scream, and hurt him. Just the way he hurt her. His truth was full of lies as expected.

“Your emotions don’t match your words nor actions. You don’t hate yourself. You hate me, it’s that’s simple.” She flattened her lips. “If you being an ass not proof enough then I don’t know what is.”

“A defense mechanism I guess?” He muttered. “I wanted to push you away as far as I could.”

She growled. “And you did.”

“But not far enough, sadly. When I went to Paris with Katie, I gave my Beta and guards freedom from working so if you ever decided to run on your account, no one would be guarding their posts. But you stayed and I don’t understand why.”

“Are you stupid?” She exclaimed. “I wanted to cut you off my life, to reject you but you didn’t let me. Why should I leave when you made it so clear that I can’t? If I would have left, you would have come back to claim me as yours again.”

“Yes, I guess that was wishful thinking on my part. I hoped you would leave on your own but I also wished that you’d stay.”

He avoided looking at her. He wasn’t brave enough to face the wrath in her eyes and the coldness of her frown. Selena composed herself amid the darkening of her heart, fueled by anger.

“So, instead of confronting or accepting my rejection, you chose to hide your tail between your legs and run?” She breathed, chuckling as she looked into the ceiling. “You are a coward, Alpha Stormwind.”

“I know.” He answered meekly.

“An asshole.”

“I know.”

“You took me away from my family so you can hurt me.”

“I know.”

“You were supposed to take care of me.”

“I know.”

“But instead, you took me here and I met Katie, the wolf you’re in love with.”

He released a heavy breath, shaking his head after he finally looked at her. The conflict in his eyes confused and angered Selena. Again, with little action, Nathaniel draws the parts of her emotions that she truly despised. She softened as she gazed into the tempest of his eyes and how she saw his wolf lowering its head.

She read him clear but where were all his lies?

Could it be that he was hurting too?

‘No!’ Selena says to herself.

That’s simply impossible.

But why did his stare flooded with the truth? Her disbelief towards the conflicting facts that she saw within her grasp continued to mess with her head.

“I know, Selena. I know that. I don’t think when it comes to you. When I’m near you, I can barely hold myself in. My vision narrows to you and my wolf cries out your name in my sleep. I don’t want to cause you more pain. You deserve much more than who and what the Moon gave you, me.”

Nathaniel never broke his stare. Inside, Selena’s mind was folded in into multiple quarters. The process of infinite, suppressing the words that she wanted to be heard the most. His gray eyes were wet with a layer of tears but they never seem to fall down his cheek. Selena’s eyes averted to his arms, seeing them shake.