BILLET-DOUX ✦ CLASSIC ROCK

56 - jon lord

For helethia ! I'm so happy to see you guys requesting underrated artists! They're so much fun to write! This is written with an AFAB reader in mind, though I don't refer to gender very often.
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The times that Jon went away on tour were always the most difficult for him. He loved playing music and seeing other people enjoy what he and the band created together. But Jon wouldn't ever get used to leaving you behind when he ventured far away from home.

The others would call him soft. In fact, they did. Jon took their words with a grain of salt on most days, as he knew staying thousands of miles from home was no cup of tea for them either. Jon just seemed to be the worst at handling and managing his homesickness. He couldn't drink it away or drug it away. The emotions always stayed heavy and cloying to his heart.

Such sadness wrought havoc on Jon's technique and he often found himself slamming his fingers down a tad bit harder on the keys to exert his frustration. Jon's anger was one thing to take serious and he was fortunate that most people around him took note of that and kept their distance. And if Jon was being honest with himself, the distance from his bandmates made things worse.

Instead of being invited out to pubs and parties, Jon was left alone in his hotel room writing pages and pages of music with you in mind. Most of the tunes were rather melancholic and full of the sort of longing that settled itself into his bone marrow. He dragged it around like a lost ghost, forcing himself through the days and months leading up to their return to England.

Jon wasn't sure if he wanted to share his work with you once you were together again. He knew that you loved him very much – Christ, you had told him so at least thirty times before he left – but there was still that lingering doubt making itself present in his mind. What if you were enjoying your nights free of him? No piano playing late into the night, no frustrated songwriting sessions or little tiffs about finances.

He was terrified of being right. Each time Jon would ring you and the dial tone would go on for much longer than five seconds, his mind would run through the thousands of potential bad possibilities. Were you hiding another man? Gone off gallavanting in town happy and carefree and –

Without him.

Of course, Jon wanted you to enjoy yourself. He wanted every waking moment of your life to be filled with pleasure and joy, but Jon had to admit that it stung to consider the possibility that you could be having the time of your life without him. And so steadily his pieces became more and more sorrowful even in the face of you answering his calls nearly every night.

It was one of the nights he planned on calling you when Jon hesitated at the phone, staring down at its shiny red surface and studying the numbers. Would you bother answering tonight? Maybe you were already in bed asleep and Jon did want you to have enough rest. He sighed, fiddling with the curled telephone cord.

Why was he so nervous? Of course you wanted to hear from him! Why wouldn't you?

Jon lifted the phone a few inches off of its cradle, readying himself to press it to his ear.

No, no, no. The phone clicked back in its place. It was nearly 9pm. What if you had work tomorrow? What if you were already in bed? What if... you were with someone else?

Jon sighed again.

"Oh for God's sake man, just bloody call her already!" Ritchie cried from one of the bedrooms. "You've been sighing for thirty fucking minutes!"